Tuesday, February 28, 2023

weight: 97.3

food and exercising:

bread tofu jam, coffee v milk, cig.

Orange, chocolate cookie

Cucumber

1 hour gym

tofu raisins

lemonade, hummus, some bread, salads.

bread tofu jam, coffee v milk sugar, cig

 718/30295

10 minutes health coaching:

I'm at work. I brought 2 cucumbers. dates almonds walnuts, oranges

I finish earlier than usual today at my workplace and I plan to go to the gym right afterwards

I plan to eat the same thing I ate yesterday at home

I still smoke

I should start running, promoting running. and yoga at home. these are sports that I deserted lately

how can I make running and yoga happen today? (after the gym)

my pen is weak

but I have a marker to highlight running and yoga. done.

let's finish with a writing exercise:

what IDENTITY do I want to own?

I am thin

I am lean

I don't smoke.

I AM THIN.

I AM LEAN.

I DON'T SMOKE.

MY BELLY IS LOOSE.

MY BELLY IS STRONG LIKE A WALL, FLAT AND STIFF.

MY BODY FAT PERCENTAGE IS 9%.

I DON'T SMOKE AND DRINK COFFEE IN THE MORNING. INSTEAD, I CONTINUE MY WATER FAST, DRINK PLENTY OF WATER AND WHEN I'M HUNGRY I EAT FRUIT, LEAVES, AND TOFU.

I DON'T SMOKE AND DRINK COFFEE AFTER LUNCH. INSTEAD, I TAKE A REST AND MEDITATE.

I DON'T SMOKE AND DRINK COFFEE BEFORE BED AT NIGHT. INSTEAD, I GO TO BED TO PRAY AND SPEND TIME ON MY PHONE. 

12:08 soon I’m free and it’s early today, my brain start getting stressed of the void, I think of friends to meet with, partners although I’m not sure I need such interaction, surprisingly I didn’t think of food. Maybe because I plan to get over with gym and because I have food at home, the same I ate yesterday. But in general, I get stressed because of the upcoming free time( I actually have work from work to finish at home but I can do it everywhere so it’s still kind of freedom).

13:11 I’m at the gym

Less stressed

I have things to do

719/30295

10 min writing exercise: What IDENTITY do I want to have?

my belly is loose

there's no pressure in my belly

it's light, hollowed, I'm light

I don't eat outside

I eat my food

I cook food

I make salads

I run 3-6 times a week

I run today outside

I practice yoga at home, 3-6 times a week

I meditate

I read every day for 2.5 hours

I clean and tidy up my house.

If I feel the rush to fall, I STOP.

I recalculate my path, action, directions, 

I walk the right way step by step till I get through the rush/ storm. 

I'm thin

I am lean

I am muscular

I do power bodyweight exercises

I am ripped

I am shredded

I eat healthy

I avoid junk food

I don't smoke

I avoid eating out.

I take walks

I park a little bit far to walk 

I ride my bike.

I have a schedule for my fat loss.

I lose 1 kilogram every week to get to a weight of 74 kilograms.

I don't smoke and drink coffee before work.

I don't smoke and drink coffee after work.

I don't smoke in the end of the day.

I don't drink coffee.

I don't smoke.

I pray to You.

I'm thankful to You for all the good things in my life.

I overcome storms healthily with Your help.

716/30295

Mon, Feb 27, 23

 what I ate today?

clementine, coffee v milk cig

2 clementines, soaked almonds

a fall: potato burekas, chocolate pastry, coffee cig, clementine.

Coconut water

And a salad of: Red bell pepper and cilantro from my  balcony, ground flax seeds, lemon tahini wakame soaked almonds, raisins, pumpkin seeds, lettuce, tofu, quinoa lentils dish.

Chocolate croissant coffee v milk cig 2 clementines 

Coconut water cig

714/30295

10 min update: 10:43

I'm after the fall

suddenly I had a void

I finished doing few tasks, and had free time, and the default is junk food

a teacher returned me the lighter that Ron gave me

I recognized that I'm before the fall

I thought that I could take a walk before continuing to working

yes this is the identity i want. if I feel the rush to use, 

I should stop and think about what else can I do

I did it

but with Your help, next time, I'll choose the right path, the right action. 

my belly is full now, but not very full. 

I'm gonna listen to it

I should listen to it

fast

I hope that the clementine will camouflage the bad breath of smoking. 

I have 4 hours after work ad before that social activity ( 15-19)

I will rest, if needed

eat my cooked food and salad, if I'm hungry

I can read and use the helping tools

I'll feed the cats and the avocado tree

I'll use this time for my healing, for consolidating my desired IDENTITY.

715/30295

I’m in a fall

In public

That’s crazy

The smoke he produces 

Reaches all the people that pass

I’m not him

He is the side I want to peel 

It doesn’t make sense

He really wants something that when he gets it, he feels horrible

How can that be possible?

writing exercise: what identity I want to have?

 10 minutes, what identity do I want to have?

I'm thin

I don't eat outside

I  prefer to cook my food, to prepare my food, to make salads

I don't eat outsdie

I don't eat hummus outside. I cook hummus at home.

I make mesabacha at home and eat it with carrot sticks, colorabi sticks, fennel, radish, lettuce.

I boil potatoes

I bake sweet potatotes

I don't eat fried food ( eggplant, falafel, fries)

I don't eat pastries, and burekases, I prefer my fit body

I prefer 9% body fat

I prefer a hard flat belly like a wall.

I weigh 74 kilograms.

I run 3-6 times a week. I'm very active. I take walks. I do bodyweight exercises at home. I learn about bodyweight exercises.

I don't eat when I'm not hungry.

I don't get to a point where I eat more than my body needs.

I know to listen to my body and stop eating when I start to feel a little bit full.

I save the food for when I'm hungry, or throw it.

my body is a temple.

I'm a role model to all the people who meet me.

my clothes fit me.

I have 6/8 pack abs.

I say many times 'no' to food.

I grow some of my food.

713/30295

Feb 26 - Mar 4 exercising

plan:

3-6 runs, 3-6 yoga, 3-6 bodyweight exercising, walks, bike rides, 3 gym

 

Sun 

1-hour gym

left: 3-6 runs, 3-6 yoga, 3-6 bodyweight exercising, walks, bike rides, 2 gym

Mon

bike ride 8.8 km

left: 3-6 runs, 3-6 yoga, 3-6 bodyweight exercising, walks, bike rides, 2 gym

Tue

1 hour gym

left: 3-6 runs, 3-6 yoga, 3-6 bodyweight exercising, walks, bike rides, 1 gym

Wed

left: 3-6 runs, 3-6 yoga, 3-6 bodyweight exercising, walks, bike rides, 1 gym

Thu

left: 3-6 runs, 3-6 yoga, 3-6 bodyweight exercising, walks, bike rides, 1 gym

Fri

40min walk

Sat

11 min run

bike ride, walk

yoga!

711/30295

Sun, feb 26,23

 98.2 kg

Clementine , slice of bread chocolate, coffee v milk cig

Clementine.

about 4 clementines

hummus 2 pita onion pickle oil 

1 hour gym

coconut water, cig.

710/30295

10 min update

22:02

the hummus and 2 pitas I ate are still there. this why I didn't eat something else

I think a good writing exercise will be: what identity I want to have.

today, I didn't do 3 writing exercises of who do I want to be.

I think that I thought that I should do other writing exercises as well.

so, the plan of 3 times a day, writing exercise: who do I want to be, doesn't work.

I worked today. and then I ate that hummus, and then slept less than 35 minutes, then rode to learn about Ta'amai Hamikra. then went to the gym for 1 hour. I did 2 shopping today. 

I bought coconut water, bananas, oranges, lettuce, cucumbers.

I threw the leftover salad from yesterday, which included a bell pepper I grew.

now, after a shower, I'm in bed with my laptop. it's late and I need to wake up early again for work.

tomorrow, I finish working at 14:25 and have a meeting in a cafe and a musical at 19:30.

so, if I get home at 15:00 and leave at 19:00, I have 4 hours for myself, for the healing.

I will rest, take a nap, cook, eat my cooked food, make a salad.  and maybe read.

maybe I'll exercise at home: yoga, bodyweight exercises.

I should quit smoking

but I'm in the inertia of this habit

I'm not sure I can stop cold turkey, because of the inertia.

this is why, maybe, the time, the free time, when I'm not working, is precious.

and I should use it better.

fill it with the helping tools.

712/30295

Sun morning writing exercise

 Who do I want to be?

How do I want to behave?

I don't smoke before school

I feel the pushes, I feel the pulls, but I make more steps on the right path.

I buy tofu

I run today

I'm going to the gym today

I eat my cooked food today

I cook today: I boil potato and bake sweet potato

I make a fresh salad today

I eat seaweed today

I meditate today

I do bodyweight exercises

I learn about new bodyweight exercises and practice them

I do squats, push ups, pull ups

I clean the apartment

I use the helping tools

I quit smoking

I find higher taste in my helping tools

I update the blog and do writing exercises

I read books, get inspired, take walks, grow vegetables and fruit

I listen to my belly

I get to the point when it's loose and empty, it make sounds that show the stomach empties the leftovers in it, it rumbles

I run in the gym

I run outside: to the beach

I ride to the HaHazmaut street and run from there to the beach

or, I ride to the beach and run there.

or, I ride the motorcycle to Tel Aviv beach and run there.

I run 1 km.

or I run 5 minutes. or 3 ,inutes.

I record my run somewhere.

I weigh myself every day and write the result.

I'm thin

I'm muscular

I'm not addicted to food

I fill the void with my helping tools: singing, walking, yoga, running 

709/30295

Sat, eve writing exercise

10 min, who do I want to be? How do I want to behave?

I listen to my belly

I'm not addicted to food

when I encounter the void, I don't think about filling it with exciting foods but rather with the helping tools: singing, my food, running, walking, learning, writing, etc.

thin

I weigh 74 kg

I weigh myself every day and write it down

I run tomorrow

I go to the gym tomorrow

I don't smoke before school

I quit smoking

I listen to my body

I reach a sensation of loose belly, and keep it.

I eat my cooked food

I make fresh salad every day

I buy tofu and lettuce

I boil potatoes

I cook chickpeas

I bake sweet potatoes

I sprout lentils

I eat seaweeds

I take walks

I avoid falls

I'm stable

I feel pushes and pulls, but I know how to take more steps in the right direction.

I can initiate a sequence of positive, healthy thoughts that can save me from falling

I'm well-trained and experienced in recognizing a situation of getting close to a fall and diverting it back to the right course.

707/30295

Sat, Feb 25, 23 - blog

what I ate today?

bread banana chocolate, coffee v milk, cig

bike ride

little bit of wine, 1 strawberry

coffee sugar milk, cig

bike ride

quinoa lentils + red bell pepper from my balcony, cucumber, wakame, ground flax seed, soaked almonds, tahini, lemon, raisins, 

2 v pizza slices, coke cig. 

10 min update (15:06)

I plan to sleep if it will happen

then at 5 p.m. I'll either go back to the synagogue or to the gym and at 7 p.m. go to Havdala and the protest

I have 1.5 hours before I leave my sweet house

and today I patted a street cat

I meditated this morning

I bought another package of cigs

if I go to the synagogue, I think it means food

although, I didn't finish my quinoa salad

and I'm not really hungry

did I write about last night's dinner? I ate too much, again.

tomorrow's another week, 

every day I have something

I'm glad about it

and the next week as well

soon I'll have 2.5 weeks of holiday

I might fly to a cheap destination. maybe Turkey/ Romania/ Poland

anyway, this is not journaling 

this is health coaching

that's nice that I do 3 writing exercises a day

but what about other writing exercises? 

I have so many things to do. why do I do self-destruction as well?

why do I do self-destruction?

how can I lose fat and eat clean?

1. ride the bike more

2. take more walks

3. cook every day

4. update the daily blog 3 times a week, like the exercise

5. journal as well

6. make a salad every day

7. go shopping:  I need tofu, cucumber, lettuce

8. run

9. practice yoga at home

10. 100 push-ups at home.

20:55

I'm.in a fall

706/30295

22:15 10 min update

my belly is big

I had a fall

I was in a protest, then alone, but still in Tel Aviv

I thought of eating something

having an interaction with people who sell food

eating exciting food

celebrate

and when I was on the motorbike, having all these thoughts and talked to myself out loud inside the helmet, I stopped and fulfilled one of the ideas: I went to have 2 v slices of pizza

the idea was one

but when I got to the counter, I took 2

and a coke and cig

instead of continuing home, and finishing the salad with a little bit salt.

I wasn't hungry

I had 2 clementines in my bag that I didn't touch and didn't want to eat.

this is why I'm fat

my weight's now 99 kg, which is 99-74=25 kg of overweight.

how long does it take to lose 25 kg? let's say, I lose 1 kg a week? so, it's 25 weeks which are: 25/4=6 months and 1 week. so it's in the end of October.

maybe a timetable, like i had for a client, with the goal weights will help me?

runs will help me

I don't run

not yet

is all this crazy?

when did I start the blog? I mean, I officially have this disease since I was 27 years old - 17 years

isn't that crazy? 17 years of self-research and I didn't find how to control it

what will I do?

1. I think 3 updates of 10 minutes a day are a good idea in addition to the 3 writing exercises of 10 minutes a day

2. run. start running. tomorrow. outside or at the gym.

3. practice yoga

4. cook every day

5. make a fresh salad with leaves and seaweed every day

6. buy tofu

7. use the parsley you grow and the other red bell pepper

8. weigh yourself every day and write down the result

9. more writing exercises

10. do bodyweight exercises

11. don't eat when you're not hungry, write down the craving, save it to when you're hungry (not sure if that's a good tip)

12. strengthen the muscle of sensing the pulls and pushes but keeping slowly but surely in the right direction. 

708/30295

Sat, Feb 25, noon writing exercise

 Who do I want to be? How do I want to behave?

I cook my food

I prepare my food

I cook chickpea

I eat tofu

I make salads

I eat cucumbers

I eat carrot sticks

I eat lettuce, avocado, cherry tomatoes, tomatoes 

I eat boiled potatoes

I bake sweet potatoes and eat them

I go to the gym today, for 1 hour

I take a rest and get to sleep at noon (like soon)

I do 100 pushups at home

I do plank at home

I practice the last 10 exercises I've just saw

I take walks

I move

I lose body fat

my body eats and breaks down my fat and uses it as fuel

I weigh myself every day

I focus on my fat loss task

I spend more time alone at home doing my stuff:

getting inspired, learning, reading,

cooking, making salads, tidying yo, 

writing, exercising, yoga, meditating.

I run 3-6 times a week

I practice yoga 3-6 times a week

I do bodyweight exercises 3-6 times a week

I take walks, hike

I go to the gym 3 times a week

705/30295

Sat, morning writing exercise

 Who do I want to be? How do I want to behave?

thin

thinner

I weigh 74kg

I weigh myself every day

I eat clean

I grow lettuce, parsley, cilantro, tomatoes, bell peppers, cucumbers.

I eat green leaves, seaweeds, omega 3

I run 3-6 times a week

I practice yoga 3-6 times a week

I go to the gym 3 times a week

I take walks

I ride my bike

I do power bodyweight exercises at home and outside

I meditate

I listen to my belly

I don't smoke

I love myself

I sleep well and rest enough

I cook food every day

I eat my cooked food every day

I eat healthy vegan protein every day

I avoid bread, pastries, wheat, pasta, flour, pita, lafa, burekas, jachnoon

I avoid animals products

I'm lean, thin, slim. shredded, ripped, muscular, 

I spend time alone at home doing my stuff ( cleaning, tidying up, reading, exercising, getting inspired, yoga, meditating, cooking, making salads)

I eat only when I'm hungry

I avoid coffee

I avoid sugar

I avoid oil

I avoid fried food

I take b12

I learn about exercises and practice them.

704/30295

Fri evening

 Who do I wanna be?

How do I want to behave?

In big dinners/ meals

I eat less 

I don’t taste everything

I'm.not there for the food

I remember that filling my stomach is unpleasant

I remember that stuffing myself makes me feel I want to die

I can't taste everything

Even if it's free

Even if it's tasty

I eat little

I'm there for the company, for socializing, not for the food, not for tasting all the foods, yes for practicing listening to my body and stopping eating when I start to feel full

Free food is nice

But being healthy

Feeling a loose belly

Feeling I'm fit and having a strong flat belly are tastier

I'm a non smoker

I love myself

I care about myself, my health, my body, my appearance.

I spend more time at home alone

Doing my stuff

I don't run away from home

I read clean write tidy up learn exercise at home.

703/30295

Fri Feb 24,23

 Banana chocolate bread coffee v milk cig

2 bananas

2 bananas, 2 potato burekas, tomato cucumber, 

Chocolate pastry, coffee v milk cig, pecan

16:20 5 min update

I took a nap

I meditated for 30 minutes

I'm going to read

hopefully, I'll get up and move: tidy up, cook, wash the dishes, run, do power bodyweight exercises, 

practice yoga, 

before I go out for a run, bike ride and a walk, I'll do yoga and power bodyweight exercises at home.

one pepper I grew is ready for eating. I should pick it.

tonight there's dinner

I'm bringing a vegan cake

I have to bring a plate, glass, fork, knife, knife for the cake, a note for the cake

I need to buy vegan protein: tofu

I should journal, maybe

my schedule is good, not empty. There's always something

I'm never alone

I actually should be alone, at home, doing my stuff and maybe meet my burried emotions that will float

702/30295

Thu eve

 Thu eve

Who do I need to want to be?

How do I want to behave?

I'm active

I'm moving

I'm exercising

I.go to the gym 3 times a week

I go for walks

 I Make fresh salads every day and eat fresh lettuce

I cook food

I'm a nonsmoker

I'm a vegan

I run, lift weights

Practice yoga 

Do power bodyweight exercises

I listen to my belly

I'm slim, thin, shredded, ripped, muscular, 

My belly is loose and strong

I keep it

I weigh 74 kg

I weigh myself daily 

701/30295

Thu noon

 Thu noon

Who do I want to be? How do I want to behave?

I am a non-smoker

I don’t smoke

My rules:

Don’t smoke

Be vegan, eat vegan food, avoid animal products

Avoid dairy products: milk and cheese

Go to the gym 3 times a week

Run 3-6 times a week

Meditate

Read

Get inspired

Be a role model

Practice yoga 3-6 times a week

Eat your cooked food

Cook, prepare food, make salads

Eat green leaves, seaweeds, omega 3, Brazil nuts

Fast between meals

When you eat, concentrate on eating

Avoid coffee

Avoid chocolate

Don’t eat when you’re not hungry

Grow food

Take walk

Do power body weight exercises

Get to the sensation of loose free belly and keep it

Get to the state of 6/8 pack abs and keep it, sustain eat, maintain it, 

Get to the sensation of being hungry

It will not kill you

There’s plenty of healthy food choices

Look for it, pursue it

Avoid salt

Avoid oil

Avoid processed food

Avoid bread, wheat, pastries, lafa, pita, Hala, dough, 

700/30295

Thu morning

 Thu morning

Who do I want to be? How do I want to behave?

I listen to my belly

I sleep enough

I do push ups

I meditate

I’m not greedy towards food

I don’t act as if I never eat

As if there will never be food again

Vegan

I run 3-6 times a week

I do power/ body weight exercises 3-6 times a week.

I have no constipation

I have 2 bowel movements a day

My belly is loose and free

699/30295

Wed evening

 Wed evening

Who do I want to be? How do I want to behave?

Eating less

Less stressed about food

Avoiding bread

Running 3-6 times a week

Practicing yoga 3-6 times a week

Thin

Slim

Shredded

Ripped

Muscular

Listening to my belly

Achieving/ getting to loose belly sensation

And keeping it

Saying ‘no’ to junk food

Journaling

Meditating

Reading

Taking walks, doing bodyweight exercises

698/30295

Wed noon writing

 Wed feb 22 noon

Who do I want to be? How do I want to behave?

Avoid processed food

Avoiding non vegan products

Avoiding eggs, cheese

Eating my bananas

Listening to my body

Eating salad and tahini

Drinking water

Eating only when I’m hungry

Eating less for losing fat

Running 3-6 times a week

Practicing yoga 3-6 times a week

Taking walks, riding my bike, 

Going to the gym 3 times a week

Making fresh salads every day

Eating my cooked food every day

Eating green leaves, seaweed, omega 3, Brazil nuts, zinc, pumpkin seeds 

Thin

Slim

Shredded

Ripped

Muscular

20-10% body fat

I grow vegetables and fruit

I spend time in nature, I live close to nature

My belly’s loose, flat, it’s like a wall, strong and stiff

I avoid junk food, I avoid wheat, white flour, flour, dough, refined sugar, 

I weigh 74kg

I weigh myself every day 

697/30295

Wed blog

 Wed blog

Banana+mallow, coffee v milk cig

B12

2 bananas ( a student offered a teacher a sandwich and then I realized I need to eat)

A student offered me chocolate, I ate and then it led to me know eating another chocolate snack I was given earlier.

696/30295

Fri Feb 24 noon

 10 min who do I want to be?

How do I want to behave?

I don't smoke

I prepare food

Every day I eat my cooked food

I bake sweet potatoes

I boil potatoes

I eat tofu

I soak almonds and eat them

I cook quinoa, red ( orange) lentils, green lentils, black lentils

I gather mallow

I grow peppers and tomatoes

I make fresh salads every day

I cook chickpeas, I add tahini with paprika, fresh parsley, cumin, lemon

I eat lettuce

I take a rest when I'm tired

I run 3-6 times a week

Today;

I wash the dishes

I cook

I take a walk

I practice yoga

I eat clementines

I read

I arrange my posts

I run

I ride the bike

I stay at home

I read books

I meditate

I go to dinner and EAT EVERY BITE SLOWLY

I taste ONCE dishes and even though they are tasty, I break up with them.

I read raw food heroes protocol, oa text, coda book, how not to die, Maxime’s recipes, 

I cook and I put a note for expiring after 3 days

I throw the cooked food from last Friday

694/30295

Fri, Feb 24, 2023 - morning Writing Exercise: Who do I want to be? How do I want to behave?

I don't smoke

I avoid alcohol

I  avoid bread, pastries, dough, wheat, flour, pita, lafa, cakes, burekas, jachnoon

I eat salads

I make fresh salads every day

I eat fruit, 3 fruit meals a day

I go to the gym 3 times a week

I run 3-6 times a week

I practice yoga 3-6 times a week

I do power bodyweight exercises 3-6 times a week

I breathe. I'm aware of my breathing

I meditate

I journal

I do writing exercises

I listen to my belly

I stop eating when I become full*

when I write an affirmation that I doubt, I explore it

I stop eating when I'm full:

I think about tonight's dinner

I'm going to a dinner where everyone brings a dish

And I imagine, visualize, and expect an abundance. I expect lots of pleasure, and I doubt if I won't end up stuffing myself with tasty foods, enjoying the sensation from my taste buds ignoring the sensation of a stress in my guts/stomach.

maybe there could be a compromise

I eat slowly

every bite

I taste the dishes

I taste something as if I'm not going to get more of it

even if was tasty or tastier than the other foods

I eat slowly every bite

I avoid feeling stress in my belly.

693/30295

Wed, Feb 22, who do I wanna be/ how do I wanna behave? 10 min, morning

I'm a non-smoker, I quit smoking, I don't smoke 

I'm vegan

I run 3 times a week

I go to the gym 3 times a week

I follow, log, and record my exercising

I eat green leaves, seaweed, brazil nuts

I learn about health

I get inspired by healthy people

I run 3-6 times a week

I take walks

I practice yoga 3-6 times a week

I do body weight/power exercises 3-6 times a week

I grow food: peppers, lettuce, parsley, cucumber, broccoli, carrots, cherry tomato,  fruit trees

I listen to my belly, guts

I aim for a sensation of a free, loose belly and keep it

I sleep well

I sleep enough

I drink water and fresh juices

I eat my cooked food

I cook my food

I make salads every day, fresh salads

I avoid eating outside

I use substitutes

I give gifts to You

I meet my emotions  and learn to feel them

I read books and articles, use my helping tools

I weigh myself

I eat salads, and tahini, I avoid bread, sugar, refined sugar, pastries, margarine, 

692/30295

19-25, 3 times a day: who do I wanna be/ how do I wanna behave

 Tue evening - V

Wed morning - V

Wed noon - v

Wed evening - v

Thu morning -v

Thu noon - v

Thu evening - v

Fri morning - v

Fri noon - v

Fri evening - v

Sat morning - V

Sat noon - V

Sat evening - V

690/30295

Tue Feb 21 - who do I want to be/how do I want to behave (18-00, 21:57) 10 min

who do I want to be/ how do I want to behave?

vegan

avoiding bread

avoiding eggs, cheese

avoiding refined sugar

listening to my belly

reaching a loose, free belly, and keeping it

eating my food

changing

feeling my feeling: sadness, happiness, loneliness, anger, pain, depression, 

filling the void with the helping tools

being OK with being alone (= with You)

eating salads

avoiding pressure in my belly, stopping eating when I start to be full

being a role model to my students.

running 3-6 days a week

practicing yoga 3-6 times a week

doing power/ body weight exercising 3-6 times a week

making a salad every day

eating my food every day

avoiding eating outside

finding higher tastes

giving gifts to You

eating seaweeds, green leaves/ leafy greens, omega 3, zinc, vegan protein every day

eating clean

getting thin, lean, slim, fit, shredded, ripped

taking walks, going to the gym 3 times a week

doing pull-ups, push-ups, sit-ups, plank

learning new exercises, calisthenics

reading every day, my books

cleaning, tidying up, every day

drinking a lot of water

relaxing, 

meditating

spending more time alone ( with You) at home, doing my stuff, the helping tools. 

Amen

 

688/30295

exercising Feb 19-25

 Sun

58 min walk

Mon

walk

Tue

bike ride, run, walk, squats, bike ride

Wed

Hiking

Thu

Hiking

Fri

10 push ups, 100 squats

Sat

2 rude bikes

689/30295

Tue feb21

 Tuesday blog

Banana chocolate coffee v milk cig

Some pomelo

2 apples 

I eat too much

I want to finish eating

To get to the end of eating

I'm eating but Im not hungry

I've just swallowed a bite

I'm eating a salad bought outside

D: last night I jerked off

Sweet potato is a good ingredient in a salad

But I should bake it

This small salad is actually big

And I bought 3 small pastries and coffee

When I went out for a ride walk and run and exercises I took my wallet and my cigarettes

It's if I told myself if I'm doing something good it’s in a condition that ill reward myself

I'm swallowing

I eat the pastries now

They are tasty 

The second anyway

But I push them into my body

2 opposite powers: building and destruction

What will help me?

Tomorrow I'm going on a 2 days school trip with the class I most have difficulties with.

I think that I should do 3 writing exercises a day: who do I want to be/ how do I 0want to behave.

the first 6-12

the second 12-18

the third 18-00

perfect. I must do it during the trip.

now, I'll do the third of today. 

687/30295

Monday feb20

 

Banana coffee v milk bread chocolate cig

Free food: pasta pita cheeses ( labane, yellow, Bulgarian) 

At home rice pea tofu chili sauce wakame

Bread banana chocolate coffee v milk cig

Nap

At a lesson: 2 cookies, 2 cakes, cooked vegetables with sweet sauce, 1 pastry, 3 rolls, white rice, peanut sauce 

Cig

I should squat, do push-ups, other kinds of exercises

Take walks, run, practice yoga

686/30295

Sunday, February 19, 2023

 blueberries, bread chocolate, coffee v milk cig

2 oranges

a little less than 2 pita, hummus, oil, salads with oil. fries, ketchup

58 min walk

small vanilla pastry, small chocolate snack, coffee v milk, cig.

blueberries, bread v chocolate, coffee v milk, cig.

20 min self health coaching:

I'm after the cig and I feel drugged

it's 22:51 and I'll sleep after the laundry

till then, I'll do the coaching and read vegan recipes or a protocol for 14 raw vegan days.

I'm not changing

I keep repeating the same loops.

tomorrow I work and then I go to a lesson. I'm not sure I'll have time for exercising

what do you mean? you can do power exercises at home or yoga.

my belly's full now.

what will cause me to change? to avoid coffee and cig tomorrow morning?

I don't know

what will cause me to avoid a cig after work? or at the end of the day?

I think I need to slow down

slow down

make fewer appointments

for example an option of another lesson after tomorrow's afternoon lesson is not necessary

although I feel I want to 

what can I do in my spare time?

I can read my books, I have about 26+ books I read

I can work out

make a salad

use the helping tools: YouTube, Facebook groups, Instagram, emails, people, writing exercises

there's a long list

I can meditate

I have extra work from work (checking tests and projects)

so, I can fill my spare time with many things and not drugs (coffee, cigarettes, outside food etc).

so, if I have so many things to do in my spare time and not the bad things I do, why do I keep doing them?

because I have a human nature of self-destruction.

I can read about it more and understand it, read about ways to deal and avoid it

Isn't there other ways?

Am I ready for tomorrow work?

I'm stressed at work

if I was more prepared, more professional, I wasn't stressed about it.

I guess I should return to allocate time for getting prepared for my work. so, I should arrive to my workplace earlier and fill a column of lessons plans.

ok, I'll do it, with Your help, no vow.

what else?

the lesson I'm going to tomorrow afternoon is far. should I ride the motorcycle or take a bus?

I know I want to take a bus

let's see what time I finish working and how long it takes to get there and return: 

1 hour ride

and there's one bus 

I need to leave at 5

I finish working at 14:25

I'll be at home at 15:00

I have 2 hours at home to rest, wash the dishes, meditate, run, exercise, practice yoga, make a salad, eat my cooked food. 

and the lesson is finished at 20:00 so I can be home at 21:00

and on  Tuesday morning I start  at: 8:15 again. early in the morning. 

and then, I have a 1.5 days off, so I can relax.

so, Wednesday is off but I either work at a trip or meet a friend for picking vegetables.

then, Thursday, is a long day at work, but I don't have plans for later.

20 minutes are over

let's recap 

If I want to see some changes in my behavior

I think I should:

slow down

prepare the lessons I give, so I should arrive to work earlier

tomorrow, I have 2 hours at home, before I take a bus to a lesson to:

eat my cooked food, make a salad, wash the dishes, rest, practice yoga, run, and do power exercises at home.

after the lesson, I should take the bus home because I start to work early on Tuesday. 

and tomorrow I'll better know what I'm doing on Wednesday. 

al

685/30295

Friday

 

2 small non vegan chocolate pastries

Coffee almond milk cig

2 oranges, f1 v

After work I ordered hummus but succeeded to eat one pita and leave the rest of the hummus to take away.

At home coffee v milk cig.

I'm going to take a rest/nap now.

18:37 I ate 2 oranges and I'm cooking rice+pea

Then dinner with friends:

3 cakes, green tea, some wine, seaweed, carrot salad, mayonnaise paste, pie with eggs, cheese in a salad, my cooked food: rice+pea, peace of hala, another slice of bread, salad, pasta, 

At home lemon juice cig

683/30295

Saturday, Feb 18, 2023

 I started with 3/4 pita with hummus, tomato and cucumber

1/4 pita with chocolate, coffee v milk, cig

10:30 coffee sugar milk cig.

I had a sandwich with an omelet and orange juice. 

a walk

third meal:

potato salad, beet salad, some bread, 

1 hour gym

at home: rice pea, seaweed, 

bread chocolate coffee v milk cig

684/30295

Thursday, Feb 16,22

 Thursday blog

I started with an apple coffee v milk cig

Fruit1 is done

F2, f3, salad, my cooked food

Walk, bike ride, and gym

10:03 I ate 2 oranges. That's fruit meal 2

Now I've left with: f3, salad, my cooked food, walk, bike ride and gym

I ate free pistachio 

11:35 I ate dates and almonds walnuts pecan and 2 oranges fruit meal3

I’ve left: salad, cooked food, gym, walk, bike ride.

18:01

I finished my hard work day at school

it was really hard

I needed to fuel myself after that depleting work

I wanted hummus and salad

I found a falafel. I ate falafel in pita with hummus and some salad

and then 2 potato burekases, 2 small chocolate pastries, coffee v milk and cig.

now, could I avoid this fall? it also cost too much money 20+28= 48 crazy. 

could  I change something? what could I change?

It's hard for me to think after this junk food

so, maybe I couldn't.

2 walks

Lemon juice cig

682/30295

Wednesday

 Wednesday blog

Clementine, bread chocolate, coffee v milk cig, 

Clementine, orange

2 oranges

2 oranges

I'm in the middle of the gym workout, 

I feel weak

It's not only the cigs

Which I must quit

Maybe I need more protein?

I put timer till the end of an hour work out 

It encourages me

At home I had rice beans tofu mustard ketchup soy sauce

Bread chocolate coffee v milk cig

Then a nap

In Modiin 

Salad some fries ketchup some fried eggplant hummus, a change: no pita bread, no lafa bread, no falafel

Then espresso v milk, 2 small chocolate pastries. Change: 2 not 4 pastries, small espresso, no cig

19:46

I watched a movie with hot guys: magic mike last dance

I should get back to run and yoga

The table at the living room is still aside for me to practice yoga

And Gigi may she rest in peace, left the living

So there are less objects ( her accessories, facilities) in the living room. 

I'll sit in front of the laptop

And update the last days from the notes

I can do it using my phone only, if there's internet

At the moment there's pressure in my belly

The salad I ate helped me to have another bowel movement

A second bowel movement for this day

I need it every day. 

I should read about green leaves, or leafy greens like lettuce, mellow, parsley, cilantro, mint

What will I do with my fat belly?

How will I flatten it? How will I make it flat, help it to become flat, get flat?

I will make a table

With 3 gyms, 3 runs, 3 yoga, 3 walks, bike rides, bodyweight exercises, 

And everyday ill have a plan

And I can choose to do it or not

20:37 so, there is pressure in my belly

And in order to break it/ dissolve it

I should fast

Move

Squat, practice yoga, take a walk, 

I had herbal tea cig

An Orange

An orange

Herbal tea cig

681/30295

Monday+tuesday

 Monday +Tuesday

Monday

It's Tuesday now, 16:34

Didn't want rite anything about yesterday and yoday

Ok tired now

I just bought 2 big cheese, and pizza burekases and are most of them. 

I must sleep

But also share more here in real time, when I night change or understand something. 

16:52 I rested a little

So, I have water, 6 clementines and nits and dates in my bag

But we stopped at a gas station and I finally chose 2 big burekas. One cheese one pizza.

The cheese I shared with cats. But I ate the rest. 

On the bus, I read more of the article about self-sabotaging 

The main thing I took from it is writing in real me can help.

In Eilat, after having fun and first going swimming, I went to Aroma to have chocolate croissant, coffee almond mill and cig

Why?

A thought/ belief: I'll be in Eilat and won't eat something from here? 

It's like a dip in the sea. 

Before that was breakfast:

Coffee sugar milk cig

Milk cornflakes

White cheese, cottage cheese, yellow cheese, some fresh vegetables: cucumber tomato yellow pepper, bread with chocolate,  olives, boiled egg, a bread slice, tahini. 

On Monday 

There were: 

3 Clementines, salty almonds, peanuts

Chocolate, baklava 

There was a blueberries, clementines meal

Night: black tea sugar, Chocolate snack Te’ami

Evening: rice potatoes, cabbage salad, vegetables salad, 2 corn schnitzels, hummus, carrot salad, 

Morning: 2 cornflakes milk bowls, cottage yellow and white cheeses, 2 bread, omelet, fresh vegetables, olives, 

Coffee milk sugar cig

17:11 we’re on our way home

I must write more

18:18 there's still more 22 min of the ride and it's a long one

And then I'll have a ride back home

So, thinking of being home is causing me to think of coffee and cig at home. I admit

23:21 

I came home

Had Clementine, coffee v milk cig

Clementine 

Went to a lesson

Didn’t touch soft drink and pizza

Came home

Had Clementine 

Herbal tea cig

And Clementine 

23:37 I should journal

But anyway it’s time to let this day go, turn off the light, and get some sleep.

680/30295

Sunday

 Sunday blog

I had Clementine, coffee almond milk and cig before coming early to work

But didn’t have bowel movement, there was no time. 

What if I won’t smoke during this trip, like I did for 2.5 months?

9:42 we had a stop

I had 3 oranges

A colleague gave me a peanuts snack, I ate it

Almost was tempted to buy a croissant from Aroma ( almond chocolate)

I listened to raw food heroes Friday live stream but slept also 

14:07 I ate all the oranges and clementines I brought and I got a half sandwich with an omelet. 

I've left with nuts dates and blueberries. 

15:34

I was tempted to ask for a sandwich with avocado yellow cheese. Apparently it was either. I got the avocado. No other veggies. The avo was a bit black. Low grade, low satisfaction, high expectation

Then, was tempted to buy chocolate almond croissant, and coffee 

29 nis

The croissant was dry and there wasn’t enough chocolate. Disappointing. 

16:51 my shoes are not comfortable and one  of them got torn. I need to stay with them till Tuesday evening. I need to walk to balance the over eating. 

18:47 teachers made coffee are a snack and chocolate, I avoided

Teachers smoked, I avoided.

22:13 

2 plates of rice pasta vegan bolognese 

Salad hummus tahini cabbage 

Herbal tea chocolate baklava 

My belly is full

Must take a shower

Sharing a stink toilet with people who eat meat, I ate this smell

Thinking of smoking 

Day one out of 3 of this 3 days trip

Tomorrow there’s a typical breakfast

Didn’t shit today

22:55 black tea cig

679/30295

Saturday, February 11, 2023

 my cat died yesterday

and I feel in accordance.

tomorrow I will go on a 3 days trip as part of my work as a watcher/organizer etc.

it's Sat and I'm in Tel Aviv since the morning

I ate the synagogue food but the fit cantor didn't touch it. I wanted to ask him why.

then, I met a friend who wanted to sit in a restaurant

I told him twice, I'm not hungry, I'll just sit with you

then, I thought I'll order fresh juice

then, apparently I'm currently too weak for that challenge and I i ordered and ate food.

then, I took a walk to the beach

exposed to sun

mourned

I'm sitting in a cafe, I ordered water

I think, I need to meet less friends and practice living differently

on raw food

or very clean food 

as a try

I lived my life

and it's time to step out and try something else 

temporarily

for limited periods

There are very tasty foods but life could be much tastier if the wrong food/eating doesn't stand before them. 

this is one of my good questions, I'll post it as a 30295. 

next challenge: third meal in synagogue

I aim to: not touch the food there. I have clementines and oranges in my bag

next challenge: a desire to smoke before night

maybe I should buy coconut juice

next challenge: to smoke and coffee before the 3 days trip

idea/ suggestion: not to smoke at all during the trip

idea: as much as I can raw food on the trip.

suggstion: fill your blog, this blog, more then once a day, one time on a day for about 30 minutes at least. 

I'm tired. there's a prayer in 37 minutes. till 6:30 maximum. then, I have 1:30 hour till the musical I'm going to.

maybe it will be a good idea, to go home, even for 30 minutes rest in my bed. 

I really need a rest.

19:38

Third meal. Didn’t succeed at avoiding eating. Currently I’m too weak. I ate pie and salads, mostly eggplant

Then, didn’t go home to rest, I wanted coffee and cig

Had an orange first and took 2 more in my bag

Then had coffee and a cig. 

23:10

At home, lemon juice, cig.

677/30295

5-11/2/23 Exercising

 Sun

bike rides

Mon

Tue

Wed

Thu

gym 1 hour

Fri

bike rides

Sat 

a walk

676/30295

Thursday, February 9, 2023

 Thursday, February 9, 2023

10 min

I’m fucking tired

after work

as I told Edi, I’ll go to the gym

I did 1 hour although it was hard after school/work ( I gave 8 lessons)

then, I stopped at Roladin and had chocolate croissant

after having 2 potato burekas from Ne’eman. together with a cucumber though.

and during the gym, I had beans and some rice.

so, now I’m home

I bought after Roladin: 2 bags of oranges, clementines, blueberries ( I ate a box of them today, but some were rotten) and bananas.

at school, I had another fall. I saw there were leftovers from Tuesday. but I didn’t see what.

anyway, I ate onion rings ( fried) and tahini.

so, if I divide the foods I ate today to two groups, it will be:

and by the way I (with Your help) succeeded not to smoke and have a coffee this morning.

how?  last night when I smoked in the end, I went down on myself, out loud. I said to myself, somethings like: you are idiot. what are you trying to do? to show that you are home, and from here you go to sleep so you can allow yourself to smoke? the cat that sleeps next to you suffers from your breath! tomorrow morning you are not smoking ( with anger). I don’t allow you. Do you understand? you’re giving a lesson at 8:15 a.m. no student needs to breathe your breath. etc.

and in the morning, I think, I  continued talking out loud. it worked.

after the gym though,

I don’t know, I needed it.

anyway,

the things I ate today into two groups:

( and I have hearburn because of the 2 burekas, big croissant which contained a lot of butter as it tasted)

foods that promote my health and becoming fit:	foods that keep me fat and ruin my health:
onion rings, tahini   2 potato burekas, chocolate croissant, coffee almond milk, cig	apple date, almonds, blueberries   brown rice, beans cucumber   coconut water, coconut water + pineapple juice.

 675/30295

What do I need to do to break my belly’s fat?

 What do I need to do to break my belly’s fat?

15 min

1.       eat more protein? vegan protein

eat less carbohydrates

how do I do it? more leaves, broccoli, spinach, quinoa, sprouts, sprouted legumes, more tofu, more lettuce, Brussel sprouts, green beans, pea, hummus without the pita, instead, lettuce, that’s so tasty.

2.       answer this question few times a day

3.       vision my belly’s fat get broken, get sucked, being digested, the fat being used for energy.

4.       wear tight shirts. even under the shirts I wear above.

5.       weigh myself every day

6.       measure circumference

7.       squat at home, do push-ups at home, do plank, do yoga at home

8.       Run Run Run, get back to running! run outside, run at the gym, run 3 minutes, run 1 kilometer. please, get back to running.

9.       1 hour of walk every day.

10.   do lounges.

11.   drink more water, drink natural juices, eat pumpkin seeds, grinded flax seeds, eat cucumbers, celery, organic celery, carrot, carrot sticks, lettuce, washed organic lettuce leaves,

12.   drink OJ (orange juice), grapefruit juice, herbal tea,

time ended, last 3 things

13.   drink water, eat vegetables, makes salads, not big ones, start with small one, eat 2 salads a day, keep doing this writing exercise, don’t stop after 3 more things. put the timer to 10 more minutes.

14.   wear tight shirts, drink water, fast between meals, eat apples every day, eat blueberries, listen to your stomach, if your body doesn’t need food, don’t push food into it, nor healthy food. stop eating when you start being full.

15.   go to sleep early. sleep enough. no caffein before sleeping. no stimulants before sleeping. no cigarettes. kick the smoking habit. go to sleep now, because you’re tired. stop the timer.

 

 

674/30295