Wed blog
Clementine
Chocolate croissant coffee v milk cig
Clementine
**
Potato burekas strawberry
Healthy snack strawberry
Bite of snack
Falafel
Juice
Coffee v milk cig
quinoa lentils, tomato sauce, green bell pepper, potato tomato sauce
cig, green tea, v milk
**
This
morning, I had to travel north. It became a habit that before boarding the
train, I drink coffee, eat a chocolate croissant, and smoke. Let me share right
now, that I did it again, this morning.
And
unfortunately, I wore not my best clothes.
How can I
continue from here?
This is a
new thing for me to share my falls. In the past, I was extremely ashamed about
it. And for sure, I’m not proud of it now. Before I had that coffee and
croissant and cigarette, I thought, what would happen if I won’t do it? The
answer that came was, or even the feeling that arose, was depression. Maybe
because coffee, chocolate, and cigarettes increase dopamine levels, and since
I’m addicted to these substances, I need to have them to stay happy. Or maybe I
felt depressed thinking of not having those since I treat having them as a
treat, a prize, a reward, a self-love action.
Maybe I
think and believe not having them will deprive me of good things I’m used to
and deserve to.
What is the
point of writing about it afterward? This day has just started. And it’s the
first time I share falls. At the moment, I’m not sure I’ll post this. But
anyway, it’s only 9 a.m. more temptations will come today, more thoughts,
automatic thoughts, triggers, and unhealthy suggestions.
I’m going
to meet my family, and they want to eat out. The last time we did it, I had Lafa
bread with hummus and salad. Not so bad except the Lafa. And today, I can take
a pita instead of Lafa or a salad on a plate or box.
After
meeting my family, last time, I had coffee and cig, maybe a small chocolate
pastry as well.
I have an
opportunity to change that today.
748/30295
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