what am I afraid of that will happen after I'll quit coffee/smoking?
strong emotions will come up
I'll be tired
I'll be depressed
I'll think I'm different
I'll sense cravings
I'll sense desires/ passion/ attraction to smoke/ drink coffee
I'll sense strong attraction to drink coffee/ smoke if I'll eat pastries/ desserts
I'll not know what to do when I have a void time
maybe I'm not afraid, maybe it's not act of fear, why do I do coffee/cigarettes?
I'm used to it
I'm addicted to it
it's a self destruction
I tend o destruct myself
I fulfill a need by destructing myself
I punish myself from some reason
why do I punish myself with coffee and cigarettes?
I don't like the way I act, I don't like how I've been acting, I don't like that I destruct myself with food and became fat, so I punish myself with the same cause
Let me repeat,
I smoke and drink coffee, because of that I punish myself with coffee and cigarettes
this is a vicious circle, a vicious loop,
I use coffee/cigarettes > < I punish myself
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