224 - free style self-health coaching ( 10 minutes)

 I need to write what I eat

to fill the table

to learn about health

to look at myself in the mirror

to "pay" for every fall, cigarette, by mentioning somewhere that I need to pay

I'm sounded like I'm addictive or compulsive

well, that what it that

I try to win the war with a side of me, it is like that.

I write data in many places, many notes, and documents

that's a problem

I need to be more organized

1. there the table of workouts, 3 fruit meals, 1 salad, my cooked food

and also 10 more foods I can eat:

water, juice, smoothie, herbal tea, dried fruit

chopped vegetables, nuts and seeds, leaves, seaweed and leaves.

I have 5 writings: 

2. daily writing exercise, 

3. fall analyses, 

4. smoking writing exercise, 

5. health coaching 

6. and journaling

7. I meditate and read TMI

8. I read  about health for 1 hour

9. I read another book for 30 minutes

ok, it looks more organized now.

yesterday I bought lots of fruit

I exaggerated

10. I need to write everything I eat, or maybe not?

233 - fall analysis

 what happened?

cigarette (with orange juice)

why?

I came to my friend's cafe

it was in my mind that I'll smoke with my friend, he actually haven't

and before that I thought maybe it will be the opposite

ideal behavior?

just the orange juice

1 better step?

give up the cigarette, do it when no one sees (for not setting a bad example)

things that can help me avoid such fall in the future

1. listening to my belly

2. I'm about to eat - choose the fruit I carry

3. read about the damages of cigarettes, process the material, write questions, answers, know everything by heart

4. good sleeps

5. runs

6. 5 minutes in front of the mirror

7. writing exercise: conversation with G-d

232 - What causes me to want to smoke and have coffee?

 the addiction

social conditioning - which means, I see other people smoking

maybe sometimes I tell myself it's horrible but maybe on the other hand I mimic them later

habit, the power of habit, inertia

it excite my system, it's drugs me, 

my believes, my thoughts, my thinking, things I think about coffee and cigarettes, thoughts I don't say aloud or thoughts that exist in my subconscious

I guess they are strategies to fulfill some needs of mine

like to think that I'm belong to something

to numb myself and not to feel

to hide from life

to create a "wall" between me and other people

I'm thinking about my needs when I choose to smoke and drink coffee

another social conditioning: "it's morning, it's time for a coffee"

I just remind myself that "smoking payment" is not only a writing exercise but also learning about the materials, the disadvantages, the damages

231 - Who do I want to be?

 I eat fruit

I order and eat salad

I take everything easily

I avoid stress

I slow down

I enjoy every moment

I'm vegan

I don't need coffee and cigarette

I carry with me fruit and water

I drink herbal tea, fresh juice, smoothie

I'm thinner

I'm thin, healthy

I practice and study non-violent communication

I read books

I read about health for 1 hour and 30 minutes in another book.

I go to parks

I take care of my health

I listen

I look in the eyes

I'm honest

I'm connected to my needs and feelings

I try to understand other people's needs and feelings

I listen to podcasts

I'm present

I eat cooked healthy vegan food like lentils/ vegetables soup

I'm connected to my breath

I eat leaves, seaweed, nuts, seeds, sprouts

I'm organized

I'm changing

I'm becoming the better version of myself

I find a good apartment to live

the moving is smooth

the moving is behind me 

I eat fruit before other things

230 - What is the caffeine's impact

 it's a stimulant

it's acidic, minerals are used to balance the acidity

after the stimulation impact there is a fall of energy, lethargy, tiredness, depression

yellow teeth

I'm programmed to have a cigarette with the coffee and a sweet pastry, usually chocolate which is also a stimulant.

I threw up a little after the coffee that came after the meal, and then I had to walk fast because it rained and I didn't have an umbrella not a coat.

it's not tasty

it is mostly a psychological addiction

I need a writing exercises answering: what is a set of mind of a healthy food eater?

what is the set of mind of a healthy raw foodist?

I become tired later

my belly becomes bloated

I'm tired of falling

I'm tired of the power of the addiction

it makes me tired, the cigarette, even when there's coffee

I think it raise dopamine level and so the mood becomes happier

maybe it makes dark stains on the skin since it's black

it's like an amusement park train that lift you to the sky and then throw you like a rag.

it ruin the meal you just had. all the green leaves with their minerals and proteins, you don't absorb them.

229- fall analysis

 what happened?

vegan restaurant, salad, tofu sandwich, lentils soup, sweet pastry, coffee soy, cig

Why?

I was hungry, I started to be hungry

buying fruit and eat them seemed lonelier than eating in a vegan restaurant

I ordered the soup and salad - they were healthy

but I also ordered a sandwich and sweet pastry and coffee and cig...

ideal behavior

eating a fruit meal and later a salad

1 better step

avoiding the pastry

10 things that may help me to avoid such fall in the future:

1. sticking to filling the table with the 3 fruit meals, 1 salad

2. fall analyses, not to ignore that there was a fall and I should learn from that

3. smoking payment - smoking writing exercise, not to ignore I need to pay for a cigarette I chose to smoke

4. going there again tomorrow and ordering a soup and a salad

5. balancing today with listening to my belly. Maybe I won't be hungry today.

I'm going to my friend's café. I don't have to order food. I can order orange juice.

6. hot bath

7. reading TMI and meditating

8. Enjoying my holiday and the time with myself

9. pursuing spending time in parks that are opened

10. making a daily food plan.

228- 15 minutes freestyle self - health coaching

 It is Monday

I'm on a holiday in Porto.

This morning I:

meditated, read about meditation, had a writing exercise: who I want to be?, 

had a smoking writing exercise, I journaled, now I have self-health coaching,

I walked a little and went outside.

I plan to go to a park, learn 1 hour about health, read another book for 30 minutes, buy fruit, fill the table of the foods I want to eat and stick to, order and eat a salad, 

I can do power exercises and practice yoga in my room, 

this is the plan and tools for working on myself for changing my unhealthy habits.

I hope to be vegan until the end of my holiday.

I can use other tools as well

tools from the tools list 

like: YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Facebook groups and pages, 5 minutes in front of the mirror, writing exercises, learning about nutrition, fitness, mental aspect

I can engage myself with other things

I can go to an art museum, 

other activities, I can go to a vegan restaurant and drink juice/ smoothie, 

I can have a bath to relax, 

I can watch TV, write an article, 

learn English, read the news, meditate again, 

let me look at the list:

I can draw, sing, listen to music, read other books, 

I can surf in healthy website, follow a health advocator's post, learn from Wikipedia about something, 

I can go to the beach, walk along the river, go to parks, gardens, take the metro to another small village.

I can explore the city

227- What does the smoke of cigarette contain? what is it composed of?

 I must read about it:

carbon monoxide and carbon dioxide

Acetaldehyde - it is believed to be a carcinogen

Acetone - irritates eyes, nose and throat, can damage liver and kidneys

Acrolein - it is poisonous, it irritates the eyes and upper respiratory tract

Acrylonitrile - it is believed to be carcinogen

1-aminonaphthalene

and more

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/215420#1

226 - fall analysis

what happened?

I had a cheese sandwich, coffee with soy milk, cigarette and a local pastry with cream.

why?

I actually started the day with meditation, reading about meditation, and a chore/ arrangement

but then, because of a habit, because I am used to, I went on that. 

and since I'm on a holiday/ vacation and want to break free

ideal behavior?

listening to real hunger and consume fresh juice and fruit

1 better step?

give up the pastry

what should I do to avoid such falls in the future?

1. fall analyses

2. meditations

3. reading about meditation

4. reading about health

5. filling the table of 3 fruit meals, salad, cooked food, runs, power workouts and yoga and other foods from the menu

6. reading other books like A New Earth

7. daily writing exercise for a year

8. smoking writing exercise 

9. spending time in nature

10. a bath

225 - smoking payment

what do I know about the coffee/cigarettes  scientific/ physiological impact?

it's acidic

it stimulates

they're addictive

smoking is carcinogenic

it can cause skin/nails/ teeth stains

I think they raise sugar level in blood

I think they release Dopamine in the brain

224 - fall analysis

 what happened?

I'm on a trip, I'm abroad, I tend to eat vegetarian

I wanted to eat a pizza

I ate pizza, drank coke and smoked

why?

I wanted to eat pizza

I finished an interview and it was good, I wanted to celebrate

ideal behavior?

listening to my belly, am I really hungry?

to order the daily salad

a better step?

order a small pizza

what will help me to avoid it in the future?

sticking to falls analyses, smoking writing exercises, learning about health, 

isolated time

walking, podcasts, meditation, reading other books

fasting between meals

sticking to the table of 3 fruit meals, salad

223: 15 minutes, freestyle self-health coaching

 why only 15 minutes?

because I don't get to the learning about health

so, I'll do that shorter and start learning.

I don't have weight here

What is the purpose of this health coaching?

to help my change my unhealthy habits

which unhealthy habits?

eating junk food, non-vegan, coffee, smoking, 

how could this self coaching might help me eliminate my unhealthy habits?

maybe I'll be more aware in a real time , when I decide what to choose 

maybe in a real time I'll remember/ recall my thoughts that I write as part of the health coaching.

maybe I'll remind myself on this health coaching how and what I want to eat, 

maybe I'll change my mindset and become more focused on where I want to be, how I want my life to look like, my galls in life, the ways I can use to reach them

what is going on? since when are you trying to eat healthy?

I think I struggle for almost 16 years officially

and my results are worse than they were when I started my try

that is a long time, isn't it? 

I was 27 y/o and now I'm almost 43 y/o.

it is a long time. 

how come you've searched for ways to eat clean for 17 years, and not only that you didn't succeed but also made your health worse?

I'm busy with other things in life as well, for example making living

maybe since I fought it, it strengthened the addiction

maybe I have other sides, a side who wants to be free and eat and smoke whatever whenever

Aren't you tired of this struggle?

I am

but it's not the first time I'm asking this and answering this. 

so, what should you do?

continue doing what I do

I can try to be more focused

I can try to strengthen the healthy habits and using consistently the tools:

fruit 1-3, cooked food, salad, 3 power workouts, 1-3 yoga, 3 runs, 

following up the habits, all the writing tools, learning about health, using other tools from the list.

222 - a fall analysis

 1. What happened?

I woke up, started with meditation, I ran, I walked  lot to a healthy restaurant under the search of 'vegan restaurant'. The prices were expensive so I ordered only a chocolate cake, coffee with a kind of milk and I smoked.

2. Why?

I used to coffee, cigarette, chocolate.

3. Ideal behavior

not to go so far. to wait till I'm hungry and eat fruit. the fruit I have at home. 

4. one better step

eat a fruit before. I could take a fruit with me and eat it just before what I ate there.

5. What will help prevent it in the future?

falls analyses, runs, filling the table of the foods from the menu, 

eating 3 fruit a day

learning about health

reading TMI as part of the time that is allocated to meditation

reading about intermittent fasting

ordering herbal tea

avoiding coffee+cigarettes in the rest of the day

listening to my stomach

learning about health for 1 hour

looking inside myself, into my feelings, sensations, listening to my body, going to sleep early, 

quality time with myself, isolating time, hiding, balancing the time I'm out, 

eating more fruit and a salad

stopping to eat when it's just enough

5 minutes in front of the mirror

221 - I quit coffee/ smoking a month ago. What do I do to keep that?

 I run, I read books, I eat fruit, I drink water, I drink herbal tea, I drink hot water with mint, 

I drink smoothies, green smoothies, I consume a lot of green leaves, 

I take walks

I listen to podcasts

I breath, I'm aware of my breathe, I listen to my body, I listen to my belly

I don't feel/ think I'm deprived

I feel/ think that I'm lucky that I'm out of the addiction/ self-destruction loop

I'm not bragging about my rehab

I'm humble about it and try humbly to help others get out of the vicious cycles

I say 'no' to offers of coffee/ cigarettes

/'no, thanks'

 I don't smoke with people I used to smoke with

I don't smoke with people who don't know me

I drink fresh juices

I eat more fruit and vegetables

I'm more connected with the higher power, with my higher power, superior power

220- who do I want to be?

I run 3 times a week

I eat 3 fruit meals a day

I have a table for the food of the menu and the workout program

I do power workout 3 times a week

I practice yoga 3 times a week. once a week at the gym, two other times at home.

I cook and it's good for 48 hours

I walk, I ride the bike, I hike, I'm connected to nature

I spread the message of natural health, natural nutrition, saving earth, saving the animals

I enjoy every moment, I'm present

I do daily writing exercise, smoking writing exercise, journaling, falls analyses, self-health coaching

I learn about health 7 hours a week

I read books

I take everything easily

I eat a daily salad with green leaves

I eat seaweed, sprouts, 

my sleeps are good

I'm active

I meditate

I travel, I work when I travel, I'm thin, I upload videos that help people to keep a healthy lifestyle.

I have a flat belly

I weigh 74 kg

I do 10 pull-ups in a row

I do push-ups, plank, squat at home

my workouts are creative, I do variety of exercises

avoiding falls becomes easier

I'm a role model for living healthy lifestyle

I avoid coffee, cigarettes, bread, sugar, salt, oil, fried food.

20 minutes (or less) of freestyle self-health coaching

 I'm abroad

at least I moved to a place of my own

how does that help?

I feel good in my own place

I have some fruit here

I'm not dependent on someone else's favors

I can meditate easily

I have a small refrigerator

I woke up at 23:30 to go out

but it's really hard

my body wants to return to sleep

it's not that I want to go out

but I do, want to spend time with a friend

and we kind of set an appointment so I have my word

I can be there for short and go home

tomorrow we set another meeting, who said he will come

the air is dry because of the AC

I plan/ hope to run every morning

tomorrow I have a meeting at 15:30 , the tour

and at 19:00, the interview

I walked a lot today. I went along the river and flew to Portugal.

I won't learn about Health today,

I'm falling asleep

falling analysis

what?

I went to my friend's café to order salad and orange juice

he offered bread and I ate it

after that, my friend offered a cigarette

I agreed and offered a coffee

so I had, croutons, bread, coffee, sugar, regular milk ,cigarett

why?

I saw there were croutons in the salad and he also suggested to bring bread

I guess I told myself, I can't say no, and when he offered a cig, 'yea why not', and then 'ok, I'll smoke it with a coffee'

ideal behavior

see that there are croutons in the menu and say no to them

id he offer bread say no

no cig, no coffee

I could stand with him while he smoked

1 better step 

no milk/ no sugar/ green tea/

what will help to avoid:

falling analyses

smoking/coffee writing exercises

sleeping early

smoking writing exercise

 "I quit drinking coffee/ smoking a month ago" - how did I do it?

It didn't happened at once

I focused on healthy habits rather than on the bad ones.

when I strengthened the good habits, the bad ones fell off like leaves in the fall.

the good habits that I strengthened were:

meditations, reading TMI as part of the meditation's time, 

short running every day

yoga, power workout

around 3 fruit meals a day

1 salad a day

learning health 7 hours a week

going to sleep early

listening to my stomach

walking

riding the bike

writing exercises, smoking writing exercises, diary, health coaching, 

logging every fall, cigarette

filling a weekly table with fruit 1-3, salad, my cooked food, 

runs, yoga, power workouts

spending time with myself

closing the door in my room or living in my own apartment. 

20 minutes freestyle self-health coaching

 a fall analysis

1. what happened?

I went to visit Israel in the hospital and turned it into a celebration, or I thought it's an opportunity to eat outside, I was hungry, I haven't cooked yet

I searched there where to eat and went to the mall where I used to work 

finally I paid 40 NIS and then 4.8+2.7 NIS

for

couscous, vegetables, pita, some hummus, sour salad, green beans, 

potato pastry, mushroom pastry, chocolate pastry

then coffee sugar at home with cigarette

there was a break between the cooked food to the pastries and the coffee cigarette

here, after this fall, right after it, I did smoking writing exercise, and this health coaching.

2. ideal behavior

I could buy fruit and eat 

3. one better step:

give up the pastries, I was full in the middle of the cooked food.

4. what will help:

falls analyses, 

I need a constant reminder for my food plan. I will (not for the first time but I feel I need to do it again and now) put a note on my end. right now. 

I did it. it stresses. I leave it till I'll think of another way. 

I wrote there: fruit 1, fruit 2, fruit 3, my cooked food, my salad,

nuts and seeds, seaweed, leaves, sprouts, fried fruit

water, juice, smoothie, chopped vegetables, herbal tea.

and I wrote on the other side:

walks, runs, power workout, yoga, bike ride.

freestyle self-health coaching:

what will help me to live healthy lifestyle?

to go to the gym before 6 p.m.

washing the dishes daily

living by myself

runs, exercises at home, time with myself, expressing my thoughts, emotions, experience

drawing, playing the keyboard, writing posts, etc.

smoking payment

 what am I afraid of that will happen after I'll quit coffee/smoking?

strong emotions will come up

I'll be tired

I'll be depressed

I'll think I'm different

I'll sense cravings

I'll sense desires/ passion/ attraction to smoke/ drink coffee

I'll sense strong attraction to drink coffee/ smoke if I'll eat pastries/ desserts

I'll not know what to do when I have a void time

maybe I'm not afraid, maybe it's not act of fear, why do I do coffee/cigarettes?

I'm used to it

I'm addicted to it

it's a self destruction

I tend o destruct myself

I fulfill a need by destructing myself

I punish myself from some reason

why do I punish myself with coffee and cigarettes?

I don't like the way I act, I don't like how I've been acting, I don't like that I destruct myself with food and became fat, so I punish myself with the same cause

Let me repeat, 

I smoke and drink coffee, because of that I punish myself with coffee and cigarettes

this is a vicious circle, a vicious loop, 

I use coffee/cigarettes > < I punish myself 

20 minutes freestyle self-health coaching

 it's Saturday, 

the end of the week. I haven't weigh myself yet

where do I write my workouts?

on a paper. together with the food habits. but since Sunday when I was told that I need to find another place to live, I'm out of balance, plus lots of work that I had until yesterday, plus next Thursday I'm flying for 10 days and there's lot of work till then

I need a stable routine during this hectic time. 

this table is important and I only should tick Vs.

so, let me prepare a new table for the upcoming week.

I prepared a table and added walks and bike rides.

my tools:

7 hours of learning health

self coaching, writing exercise, writing exercise for quitting smoking, journaling, 20 minutes meditation, eating my cooked food, cooking, making salads, fruit meals, 

I want to get tested for TSH, because I think that since I increased the daily dose, the TSH value is now low. maybe in the wanted range but I think I'm to hectic.

and I want that my thyroid will do its work.

I want to give it a try and to eat 2 Nori sheets daily or half tea spoon of a specific seaweed and try to lower the doze of the medicine and test the TSH level.

my health

I'm trying to quit cigarettes

and coffee

what can replace them?

exercising, more exercises, 

a better connection with G-d

meditations, runs, more fruit, salads, my cooked food, 

I started to take more walks. I think that I gained more weight. I feel it.

I have this table

I have more tools:

meditations etc.

good luck

15 minutes freestyle self-health coaching

 I have 3 pears and 3 apples here

I have some cooked food at home. it's good for today

in the refrigerator I have: pecan, walnut, flax, nori, 

I want to buy pistachio, tomatoes

I have at home bananas, 

I have frozen pea

I have mint herbal tea bags

I have a bottle here for water

I plan to look at 2 apartments around work right after school and then go home.

I have yoga at 19:00. I plan to see 2 apartments in my home neighborhood. I'll try to run, ride, walk and work out at the gym as well.

On Wednesday evenings there's no more course. so,  tomorrow I can continue working out.

I need to cook as well. I think that the dish I have is valid until yesterday. I'll smell it first.

I need to learn about health. It's Tuesday. my plan is to study 7 hours a week. just health. This week so far, ( I can't check it) I believe I devoted 1 hour at most.

I need to weigh myself and measure the circumference of my belly.

journaling, meditating, writing exercise (who I want to be), self-coaching, writing exercises payment for smoking, are tools I also use.

I have a table of fruit 1-3, my food and my salad. Yesterday I ate 1 fruit meal.

 

freestyle self-health coaching

 hi

there's food now for the workers

I'll try not to overeat

I need to find an apartment

maybe living by myself will help my changes in food

but I have to look for it and find it and this Thursday I have a challenge, Next Monday a wedding, next Thursday I'm flying for 10 days

and I have work from work for after worktime this Thursday 

lots and lots of things to do

can I quit with the cigs, the coffee? yes, living by myself might help me

I hope to find a good place, calm, with sunlight, windows, good neighbors, space, place to grow plants.

20 minutes freestyle self-health coaching

 I had a fall this morning

3 small pastries, coffee outside, I bought cigarettes package

a bad start for an off day

a bad start for a week.

I'm starting again now. 8:32

I take seriously the workout plan, 3 power, 3 runs, 1 yoga.

I take seriously the daily diet: 3 fruit, my cooked food, my salad.

today at 11 I plan to run + workout at the gym.

I should weigh myself. haven't done so for a while. I'm afraid to see a high number.

I take seriously the payment for cigarettes. 

because I have a chance before the quitting smoking program to quit by using my methods.

and my method is writing exercise about quitting cigarettes for each cigarette or reading about it.

another week has started

but today is an off day. I have many plans for today. 

I have apples, pears, dates, 1 clementine, 1 grapefruit, 

I should buy bananas

my cooked food is buckwheat, pea, green lentils, I can add raisins and cranberries

for a salad I have:

lettuce, tomato, carrot, purple cabbage, red pepper, celery

flax seeds, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, 

I want to buy pistachios

I want to start eating 2 Nori sheets daily and to lessen the amount of the medicine for hypothyroidism.

I tried to find the article I've read about hypothyroidism and there was another seaweed I can take. it mentioned the amount of that seaweed I should take daily to meet the daily Iodine need. 

today I plan to run and workout at 11 a.m. it is 1.5 hours of workout.

I hope I'll manage. Maybe I'll start with the gym.

Maybe I'll rest 2 hours and then run 30 minutes. 

I should save my energy for that.

my mantra is there's food at home.

I should have more mantras:

I need energy

I need to eat 3 fruit meals, my cooked food and my salad today.

I must finish with my workouts plan for today as soon as possible and be behind it.

I don't want to postpone it for the end of the day and then to another day and then not to do it.

I'll do my best to finish with it.

I'll weigh myself

I learn about health today for 1 hour.

20 minutes freestyle self-health coaching

 it's almost 6pm

I'm a bit tired

I'm staying awake because a friend suppose to come

otherwise, I would try to stay awake and not to sleep

it's almost 6pm and I'm already after 3 cigarettes.

I have a quitting smoking workshop of 8 meeting after Hanukkah.

the week is ending, and I didn't do 1 power workout

I did 2 power workouts, 1 yoga and 3 runs

what about fruit meal 1? 2?3? my cooked food out of 7 (days)? my salad (out of 7)?

I don't have information.

I must be more organized with these.

the workouts are logged in a note on my phone. 

and since yesterday, I have a table for the 3 fruit meals, my cooked food and my salad.

I should keep writing what I eat. and fill that table.

Tomorrow is Sunday, I should run and go to the gym tomorrow morning. 

I have OA in the morning. Another thing I do for my recovering.

I have clementines, apples, pears, dates. 

I have cucumber, tomato, red pepper, lettuce, celery, carrot, purple cabbage, 

sunflower seeds, flax seeds, Nori, pumpkin seeds, walnut, pecan and almonds

I should sprout legumes

I'll buy black lentils. I ate today and it was good.

I think, I'll put in my wallet again the table of the fruit 1-3, my salad, my cooked food and add to it the workouts. 

20 minutes freestyle self-health coaching

 I started the day with 2 bread slices, healthy chocolate, natural peanut butter and coffee, soy milk and cigarette.

then, I meditated 20 minutes, did a writing exercise: who do I want to be?, journaled for 10 minutes, and now I'm doing this coaching.

I plan to go to the gym at 11:45 and stay there for a 3 hour shift till 16. 

I going to dinner and making salad for that.

I should cook a dish.

I should have another mantra: "there's food at home"

I using the word "another", not because there is another mantra in my mind

but because I think I need some mantras, more than one, I think it helps

so 1 mantra is: There's food at home.

I eat the bread, the chocolate

but there's still food outside, coffee, cigarette, fried food, pastries.

I lengthened the run yesterday to 30 minutes and finished 4 km.

what should I do to live healthily?

there's a quitting smoking workshop after Hanukkah. Moran succeeded quitting this way. I'll try.

the pressure of having to find an apartment is canceled now for a while

and then if it's for sure, I'll have to find a suitable flatmate.

it is almost the end of the week

I need to complete 2 power workouts to reach 7 workouts.

but what about eating everyday 3 fruit meals, my cooked food and my salads?

I have a note for that on my phone

but I updated only on Sunday.

so, I'll try a paper now.

and just for 3 fruit, my cooked food and my salads.

I'll not put it in my wallet, I'll try to fill it.

maybe I should also, write everything I eat again. yes.

the last time I weighed myself 

and measured my circumference: 10 days ago!

wow

I avoided that

I learned health 1 hour this week

at school I learned from nutrition facts website.

I don't do walks much neither bike rides 

I meditate, 20 minutes, I should do it when I'm not sleepy

30 minutes freestyle self-health coaching

 I need to find a new place to live.

it will take my free time.

but there will be a free time. not all the time there are relevant apartments to see.

so I can go to the gym (today and tomorrow), go for a run (today), 

make a salad! please! I bought so many vegetables the other day, today

throw the leftover in the pot, cook a new dish

read and learn about health

I devote time to learning other subjects, the issues around food

so, I should devote time directly to learning about health.

I should listen to the podcast of Dr. Joel Furman and his daughter.

maybe the Vegan Gym podcast, Nimai Delgad's podcast.

I should take walks and ride the bike on the weekend.

there is going to be more void than I'm used to. there are buried emotions and feelings in my cells, waiting to stop being depressed and to show up and live. I should be prepared to feel them, to live through them.

I should get used to observing a thought+feeling/ sensation about food/ cigarettes and not to react to it, not to respond immediately and automatically to it. I should get used to feeling, being touched (the sensation) by it, "let it be", and "let it go".

I should stick to my tools list and choose actions from it. 

I should wake up

I should let myself wake up

by stopping obstructing/ sealing my emotions/feelings by over-eating + smoking + eating junk food.

I should cultivate self-love, appreciation for  my body, respect to my body, 

I should remember that it is important to me to be a role model for a healthy lifestyle

that I believe in the power of a healthy lifestyle in preventing diseases and restoring health and I want to spread it because many people don't know about it. they believe the western medicine.

I had a free time and I went to eat pastries, drink coffee and smoke. 

I enjoyed being outside, breathing better air, fresher air, sitting in a cafe outside,

but there were salads. maybe herbal tea and fresh juices. I didn't ask.

hope this blog will help me and others to recover from food addiction and claim our eating behavior  and health.

20 minutes, free style self health coaching

 I walked last evening and this morning

I didn't do this morning a meditation

I'll try to do short meditations

I'll prefer walks over meditations

I should weigh myself

maybe I'll ride the regular bike to Tel Aviv

maybe I'll go to the gym after 20:00

maybe I'll spend time in nature in the beach this afternoon

I can read books in the beach 

I can take with me cucumbers and apples, maybe bananas too.

I have cooked food for today.

I bought bread in order to avoid buying pastries.

it's the weekend now. no stress. 

but every week this period, I have 3.5 days of stressed time at work.

how can I make sure I work out enough?

maybe I need fixed times for power workouts.

power workouts: Sunday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday

yoga: Tuesday

Runs: Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday

I had a paper for food and for workouts

there were 2 power workouts this week

1 run

1 yoga

2 runs and 1 power workout are missing. 3 workouts are missing.

maybe I'll hang a table on the wall for the upcoming week?

I'm talking about 7 workouts: 1 yoga, 3 power, 3 runs.

I can write it also in my purple notebook.

I choose to hang a paper. 

I prepared and hung it.

I wanted to talk about another thing

not leaves but I'll talk about leaves now.

I need to buy lettuce

and have it daily.

I can also eat parsley, cilantro, mint, baby leaves, different kinds of lettuce, deal, basil. 

today I can eat apples and bananas as fruit meals 1+2

I said to meet a friend at evening but I need to complete 2 runs and 1 power workout so it's a problem. I'll have to give up something.

I cooked a nice dish yesterday: quinoa, red lentils, pea, sweet potato, tomato souce.

I need to weigh myself. and measure circumference.

cigarettes and coffee:

I should buy fresh juice

I have new herbal tea which is tasty. mint.

3 runs a week will help. rides and walks too.

I have few frameworks besides school:

Israel, OA, TMI (at 18:00 and recorded lesson at 20:00), Tanya, Yoga lesson, yoga theory lesson, 

NVC (last meeting), 

7 hours of learning nutrition, health and fitness

320 minutes are over

207/30295

good luck.

30 minutes freestyle self-health coaching

 today, an off day, I ate 2 apples, I cooked and ate my cooked food.

I checked what foods I have.

I have cucumbers.

there are million things to do

and I should make stops for doing them and have some vacation times to myself, my things.

I was in the gym today. 

this week, I did 2 power workouts, 1 yoga and 1 run.

I ate 3 times my cooked food so far. 

I didn't make any salad yet.

I have apples and dates.

I have raisins and dried cranberries.

I have pecan, walnuts and almonds, pumpkin seeds and sunflower seeds.

I have flax seeds.

I have nori seaweed.

I have tofu that I might throw. it's opened. from a few days ago.

I should run today or walk or ride the bike.

same tomorrow.

I should learn today nutrition and health.

I meditated today but it didn't work so well. the goal of the meditation is that I will not jump on every 

junk food thought and fulfill it but stay observing and overcome the pit.

everything I do and allocate time to , like this writing, a walk, power workout, yoga lesson, 

could be a practice for staying and not running away.

I have busy days, Monday to Thursday. and I'm very tired by 21:00 now that we changed to winter time.

I wake up early but don't do much on that time.

I have a table for this week of food and workouts.

but I think again that a note in the phone is better for the workouts.

regarding the food, 

it's not accessible, the paper,

for each meal, 

it's in a plastic bag.

maybe a note on my phone again but I can do it like this:

salads - Sun, Mon, Tue, 

cooked food - Sat, 

or

Sunday - fruit 1-3, salad, cooked

the latter is better. 

how can I improve my health?

I can try to have 7 hours a week for learning nutrition, health and fitness.

maybe I should consider working out in the mornings. for example running.

or walking in the park.

or gym. 

or learning nutrition in the morning.

because meditations didn't work lately. 

I don't discard meditation but I think for a while I'll stop doing them first thing in the morning.

how about the cigarettes?

I started attending online OA meetings. I should keep doing that for a while.

lately I'm addicted even more to the chocolate pastry and it comes with coffee with soy milk and cigarette.

30 minutes are over

what can I do with the cigarettes?

I should buy bread for home.

I need leaves.

the cigarettes?

I should write about it.

206/30295

self-health coaching

 Tuesday

I'm right after a fall

came from school

I don't have cooked food

I ate outside : baguette with falafel. wheat, dough, and fried food... 

then chocolate pastry coffee and cig

Now I'm exhausted. I wasn't after work and before this eating. 

what can I do to change it?

tomorrow is a long day. I have work and then outside work so I finish at 17:30. it's a longer day than today.

so

and then I have 2:30 hours window before a course I'm taking.

so

and usually after the outside work which is a bus ride distance from my home, I eat outside

so

it's a challenge tomorrow.

I can cook tonight for tomorrow

I need to throw the leftover cooked food I have that was expired yesterday.

Can I make it tomorrow?

I can avoid falling tomorrow?

and between now and tomorrow after work I usually have before going to bed cigarette and tomorrow morning's cigarette.

I 'm talking about 3 potential falls ahead. Can I avoid these 3 falls somehow?

wow, 

it's nice that I'm writing about it now.

but it is quite a challenge. 3 challenges.

how can I avoid them?

maybe I should address each one of them separately.

What can I do to avoid tonight's cigarette?

Is there something I can do to avoid it?

to go straight to bed

to read a book in bed

to watch lives on Instagram, YouTube, to surf on Facebook

so many things I can do until I fall asleep

and tomorrow morning

I wake up

I have a ride at 7:30

can I engage myself in the morning  without feeding the sick addicted side of me?

and tomorrow after the outside work, can I come home straight? and cook at home?

205/30295

what can I do to avoid tonight's cigarette?

what will happen if I will avoid it?

I'll meet some emotions

I'll meet my feeling

I'll meet my voidness

buried stuff will come up and float.

I can write about them.

I can start a new page: I'm avoiding tonight's cig, tomorrow morning coffee and cig and tomorrow after the private lessons outside food and coffee and cig.

it can be interesting to think about the future, a different future.

no cigarette tonight

no coffee and cigarette before school

no outside food, coffee, pastries and cig after outside work.

this is crazy. it's a challenge

may I fail?

Do I want to succeed? to change?

Or do I want to fall and try not fall, to fall, and try not to fall

do I really want not to fall?

I do, because I get fat, I damage my health, my energy is low

and being fit and energized should be more worthy than to eat sometimes junk food. isn't it?

I don't want to fight

but I'll try

the new thing here is to not to log what happened but to look at the future, to aim something.

I can try. I'm afraid to fail.