Fri, Apr 28, 43

5:54 update 

I woke up at 4 am to pee

stayed awake since then

my mind is restless - monkey mind

tried to meditate, I moved all the time, so later I did 5 min meditation

last night I ate 1.5 pita + hummus

there's pain and stress and bloating in my belly

I might take a walk this morning or complete my 3rd workout for this week

I'm working today from 9 -11:45.

since I didn't sleep enough, let's say 11pm to 4am = 5 hours, yes, not enough, 

I'm now not sharp. stoned. 

It's hard for me to fall asleep and I want to do things

maybe to get rid of the stress in my belly

alright, later

again, haven't slept enough so I'm weak. on the other side, I want to stay awake.

883/30295

17:55 10 min update

I'm so tired

I napped

I ate my cooked food

it contained miso paste

but I added chili sauce.

then I had coffee and smoked

I bought: avocado, green and red onion, tomatoes, cilantro, parsley, lemon, 

herbal tea: mint and organic coffee - decaf - caffeine free - decaffeinated.

I have too many meetings

that's why I arranged that a friend who offered a meeting tomorrow will join dinner tonight with other friends that it might be instead of tomorrow.

anyway, I hope not to appoint with him today for tomorrow 

at the moment I want it to be free

in two weeks I host dinner

I'm sad, 'cause I didn't change. I'm still fat and still eat too much

this morning I ate 6 pastries, and had 2 coffees.

I really need to take those walks

I guess, I can take a walk tonight after dinner if I don't return with my friend

'cause the bus stop in Wolfson interchange and from there I need to walk.

otherwise, I can take a walk tomorrow and not go to a synagogue.

pressure is taken off at my work 

I relax by this fact

I'll have time to read

but on the other hand, it's still not the desirable pivot, the breakthrough I'm waiting for.

it's probably me who prevent it to happen

I had some good days when I felt I'm on the wave finally

maybe, by writing exercises I can create the same situation, maybe I can sustain and preserve that mindset and success.

884/30295