יום רביעי, 26 באוקטובר 2022

Wednesday

 I'm smoking

Couldn't I drink this coffee without it?

I guess I had withdrawal symptoms I couldn't bear

I meditated today for 20 minutes 

It wasn't well done

I have two books and i’ll get inspired on the train

11:21 1st update

I ate 2 clementines

I walked almost 2 recorded km

Today I’m getting delivery or fresh organic produce

I must make more effort to make a salad everyday.

I found a Jewish prayer to read before every cigarette.

I hope I’ll read it before every cig and it’ll help me avoid/ abstain it.

I should eat green leaves daily.

The organic delivery is expensive.

I should find other stores that sell organic leaves.

Now that I have a motor scooter it should be easier.

I didn’t run this morning. It was raining. 

When can I run?

Maybe tonight. The race next week is gonna be at night. So maybe I should run at the same time as a training.

I need to find the email of this race.

My belly’s bloated now.

It’s the coffee, the pastries. The pastries of potato and chocolate were dairy.

19:00 10 min update

I hurt myself again

Right before the train, ice coffee and cig.

Ok I got 3 fruit where I gave a lesson.

Before that, there was a birthday meal. I didn’t ask what food are served

There was total junk food

Maybe if I knew, I could bring fruit and vegetables and cut them

Isn’t that my role in my family? 

I drank zero coke, ate 2 industrial cakes with industrial whipped cream, 2 cheese burekas, 

2 corns, potato pie that has egg inside.

It’s 19:05 and I’ll try to use the tools till I get home.

Read books, piss, get inspired, learn nutrition topics, learn about health

What will I do with my addictive behavior?

How can I control it? Should I ask You, G-d, to help me? At the moments the evil inclination takes power?

What will help me in those true moments?

Pause

Is it what I need to do on the other time, when it doesn’t call me? Or is there something I can do when a fall’s about to happen?

My belly is bloated

My brother, who had some good time in health, kept eating junk today, and me too.

In real time - ?




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