15:24
thinking whether to go to the gym or move in the house tidying. I can go to the gym tomorrow. I'll go now.
22:20 10 minutes update
I'm home. I was in Kabalat Shabbat. I cooked healthy food: brown rice, black and red (orange) lentils, some vegetables ( zucchini, red bell pepper, leek), tofu, spices.
I ate 1 plate and another and another. and juice and 4 cookies and cig.
I can't stop, until my stomach hurts. I'm addicted, a compulsive eater.
what crosses my mind? it's free, it's tasty, it's an opportunity, later there won't be.
maybe it's not addiction. maybe it's in my DNA. maybe my ancestors experienced starvation, famine. and I'm coded to eat a lot for a case there won't be.
ok, let's say it's true ( my ancestors were hungry and I'm coded to eat)
I know I live in an abundance time, and this codes make me fat and unhealthy.
maybe I need more meditations.
maybe I need to do what I'm doing now. 3 times a day to visit here and update.
of course I have other tools
I read a lot of book and material in paralel.
OA, AA, CoDA, vegan bundle, raw vegan bundle,
I pray, I journal, I read about meditations, meditate, I have many tools and I try to use them more.
maybe I should keep doing that.
in the vegan bundle book the guy who succeeded to make transformation said this is what I did:
he got motivated all the time, researched, watched YouTube, took a vegan coach and did everything he could to succeed.
my work as a teacher in school is hard. it depletes my energy, it's hard to deal with students who don't listen, disrespect, don't let me teach and give a lesson. maybe i'm supposed to know how to solve such things and this learning takes time too.
23:11 the readers of the magician, all got permissiom to contine
permission*
23:12 falling asleep hard.
522/30295
אין תגובות:
הוסף רשומת תגובה