יום שני, 25 באפריל 2022

Monday, April 25th, 2022

 Tomorrow before school there are no coffee cig bread 

Tomorrow before school there are no coffee cig bread

Today there are 3 fruit meals, my salad, my cooked food,

No falafel

Tomorrow as well

Today, 3 fruit meals, my cooked food and my salad no falafel

Tomorrow no coffee cig pastries before school no falafel, there are 3 fruit meals my salad my cooked food

Today no falafel yes 3 fruit meals, my cooked food my salad

Tomorrow no coffee cig bread/pastries before school, no falafel, yes 3 fruit meals my salad my cooked food

Wednesday and Thursday no coffee cig pastries before school no falafel yes 3 fruit meals my cooked food my salad.

I’m in bed

After a fall (15:36)

In the morning I had 4 pastries coffee cig

Then I wrote what’s above

During school I had Clementine

Another Clementine and 2 apples

Then on the bus (to a falafel) had 2 bananas

That’s 3 fruit meals

Then had falafel

Again 4 pastries coffee cig

I’m exhausted now

In bed

What will help me?

I’ll sleep soon

Then I’ll take the bus to a Gita lesson that talks about overcoming addiction in a way

In the meantime I keep falling

There’s no change

Should I start answering the 12 steps program  question ( as I did in the past but didn’t finish)?

Should I accept my falls

I can’t

This way leads to diseases

The current way to change is to cultivate healthy habits, get inspired, do more of the promoting deeds

But I’m tired and it’s not enough

I had 2.5 weeks free of work and didn’t make a small change 

What should I do

G-d, what’s my next step should be?

I can’t go on like that



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