food + fitness:
10:15 small cream pastry and small chocolate pastry coffee sugar milk cig 1.
14:15 watermelon
A walk
I’m hungry
I bought peas rice and vegetables and later I added those wheat flakes and a voice telling me I’m still want a pizza slice so I’m telling this voice wait maybe you will be satisfied and another voice starting to raise his head and tell me later we will have a cigarette and I don’t know, Coke? so we’ll see about it I’m going to eat now and about the wheat flakes , I guess I should’ve take more of the other things: more rise and more peace
14:51 finished all at home
It was oily
Had a sense of getting full before finishing but still continued eating
Now what?
Observing the belly sensations?
Breathing? Waiting 10 minutes before anything else? Gilad hour before drinking? Or smoking? Be the guard at the gate also the mouth gate. Wow some insights.
Journaling
It’s relevant to here
I have 4 more books I want to read today
And to swim and snorkel later
A voice: so smoke now? Before the books?
A pressure sensation in my belly
My belly is full
What now? A rest? Music? TV? Olympic Games? YouTube? Audio? Podcast?
Why cig? I’ll b tired afterward and need a nap
Maybe I need a nap now
So take a nap now!
Just kick the though away, that’s it
Don’t think about it
But I want it
This is just a thought
One cig, there is a progress, didn’t have a pizza, ate vegan
It’s good to not have ready made cigarette, another barrier
What ? Cig? I don’t have power to smoke now
So don’t
Think of other things: go to bed and rest
Listen to beautiful music
Face the emotions
Face after-food sensations
Breathe
That’s an achievement , to write all this, you deserve a cig price
I’m tired
The food was oily
And included wheat
I want a cig before sleeping
It’s a thought roee you don’t have to fulfill it
It’s just a thought
Be the guard at the gates
The gate of your mind , the gate of your mouth
Think about the stain in your used-to-be-pink lips
I’m not gonna win this
It’s a thought!
Post this in a quitting smoking group
You’re wasting your time with thinking
Take a rest, decide, make a decision that maybe later, or later, but not now, now the body is full with food.
It’s an endless argument,
I’ll stop the writing of thoughts and just do it
These are just thoughts, take a rest
I’m going to sleep for sure after a cig so why not to sleep right now?
-starting to roll a thin cig-
I’m already tired before smoking, it’s the food that triggers this
-lighting
Soon you’ll finish it
And go to sleep
Yes the food is to blame
It’s not so bad
It is
Washed my hands and brushed my teeth
My belly is bloated
I’m in bed after the cig and diluted juice
Slept
I took a walk, I swam, I talked to someone
I’m not so hungry but thinking of food, pizza, maybe pita fries, crepe with chocolate, coke maybe, cig
But maybe I can eat salad, drink water, fast, eat fruit instead. 20:55
Pizza slice, pita tsaziki fries vegetables feta, crepe chocolate ice cream,
Some juice cig
I learned from a book , actually got a reminder of the idea that we r the average of the 5 people who are close to us
So I was thinking to choose 5 people to follow their posts.
And if mentioned again the Facebook groups as a tool.
Mira buchnick
Tal sharabi
Freelee the banana girl
Vegetable police
Raw food rising
Eden Paz
It’s 23:12 I read 5 books out of planned 6
But there are others tools to use
My belly is full
1:23 juice cig 4
Because I’m free to do whatever I want
-oh Roy you’re free
This what I want? It’s just a thought , a bad suggestion
You could write instead, and talk to g-d
Or read one of your 5 people you chose post
Any way
Go to sleep
body pic:
food pics:
free text:
yesterday I asked a friend how he is. he replied that he's in the same situation for 5 years.
I was thinking about my health issue, my addiction to food and trying to lose body fat issue and calculated it's a 15 years issue within I'm stuck at the same I guess thinking patterns. and still didn't get out of the loop and even made the situation worse by adding smoking and gaining around I would say 20 kilos.
only today, I started the day ( not immediately, because I meditated and rested and drank water...) with pastries, coffee and cig, non vegan.
so, how do I get out of the loop for good?
I understand the that I'm not my thoughts, I'm not the voices who suggest me to eat when I'm not hungry, to eat junk food and to smoke.
but I still listen to those.
I meditate but my meditations are in a low level. I must read the book that guide to how to meditate.
I have 6 days abroad, alone. there is some stress. to get to the bus stop tomorrow, to see the bus coming indeed, to have the covid test and get a negative result, to get to the airport etc.....
but, I'm still alone. the voices are just the voices in my head. I'm not traveling these days with other people and their voices.
so, how can I produce healthy voices and listen to them?
by reading
maybe by writing like at this moment
next week I'm going to sleep 2 night in a hostel and share a room.
in the last time, on Wednesday, a woman who I shared a room with told me I'm snoring like a bear, and she hear my snores through her ear plugs, and that it's vibrating all the room.
it's a gift. it's a reminder. a big red flag. it says my health is bad. It's deteriorating. I must change my habits.
I need to work.
tomorrow I'm in a new place and there there are tow beaches I ant to see. other then that, being abroad is the settings, the scenery. I should concentrate in work. work on myself.
from time to time I'll do a break and see the view, it's also a tool. be in nature, move.
but my focus should be on letting my body to heal. listen to my body's needs not to my mind's suggestions.
so, this is why I have this daily paper, where I have 2 columns: to do and what I did. and my strategy is to stick to this paper and fill it.
I'll read, I'll have a break of walking, I'll watch inspiring video, I'll go to swim and snorkel, I'll write and listen to podcast, I'll take a nap. when I'm hungry, I have a desired diet of fruit fruit fruit and salad.
I need a temporal isolated time. I have 6 days abroad alone.
when I'm back I'll also have a lot of time till the beginning of my work time. a time to find a new apartment, to help my family but also a lot of time for healing.
I think I need to write more.
in the last minutes I have, I want to go through the list of the writing exercises I have and maybe I can add questions.
it's a short list. I had once a long one.
ok, it will be a writing exercise for 10 minutes to think of directing questions for writing tools.
14:00 things I've read in the power of subconscious mind today:
the conscious part is the guard in the gate. its job is to protect the subconscious mind of accepting every suggestion. it's important to keep the conscious part awake and alert, otherwise the subconscious mind listen to destructive thoughts.
so, now, I have suggestions of pizza. I have watermelon in the refrigerator but I feel stronger attraction to pizza, cola and cig I guess.
what do I suppose to do? if I think of eating a watermelon now, I don't feel like doing it. I have a sense of the breakfast I have, still in my gut, the dough. and I want more dough. it's addictive. the gluten, the wheat.
desired body pic:
goals:
to get thinner,
to lose body weight
to exercise, run, have power workouts, do yoga
eat high raw vegan food, clean diet
eat when I'm hungry
I realize that my ways of achieving my goals became my goals since I find them hard to do.
ways to achieve my goals:
ways to achieve the ways to achieve my goals...
read, learn, read spiritual books and health books, use all the tools in my list.
desired diet:
fruit, fruit, fruit, green leaves salad
clean ( not fried, no salt, not processed nor industrial) vegan cooked food: vegetables, legumes, cereals
water
shakes, juices, nice cream etc.
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