Cheese pastry, pizza pastry , small chocolate pastry spinach pastry coffee sugar milk
My challenge now is to fill the bottle with water and listen to my belly
I ate a lot. Rice cabbage salad eggplant salad vegetables salad cooked vegetables with chick pea , mushrooms, beet salad, potato, sweet potato,
Oj cig
Chocolate vanilla pastry coffee soy milk cig
I need for tomorrow fruit
I have a 7-16 shift.
Watermelon
apple juice
watermelon
Lemon juice cig
Small chocolate pastry, coffee soy milk cig
Soaked Fig water
1 hour power workout
Small Pizza pastry
16:30
soaked dried figs,
soaked almonds,
3 bread, hummus, pickle, red pepper,
orange juice
coffee soy milk cig.
18:15 soaked almonds
20:00 hummus pickle tomato cucumber brown rice canned bean tomato sauce
Social meeting, a spiritual lesson with food:
2 cakes, 4.5 cookies, mango grapes orange
2 mini pita with potato, 3 juice with sugar, coffee plant milk cig,
We talked about fixation, about winning the bad side of you, and For me it’s the food and I’m eating and eating and eating.
Tomorrow there’s another social meeting with spiritual lesson with food.
Maybe instead of writing everything I eat I should concentrate in my winnings and successes. Success stories.
I found out my TSH is very high. I guess my doctor will tell me to raise the amount of the medication for hypothyroidism.
I know it can be balanced naturally. no pastry, no coffee, no cigarettes. as a a start. good sleep.
Mango
Bread chocolate
Coffee soy milk cig
2 mangoes
Jachnun 2 eggs pickles olives potato burekas tomato sauce lemonade
Coffee milk sugar cig
1/3 pizza wine
Orange juice cig
food +fitness:
bread chocolate, coffee sugar, cig
2 mango
1 hour power workout
Potato
I build up hunger
Didn’t want to eat mangoes in my workplace
Tomato cucumber red pepper
2 potato pastries, 2 pizza pastries,
2 bread with hummus
2 chocolate pastries
Coffee soy milk cig.
10 minutes run
Orange juice
Dried mango
Orange juice cig
food + fitness:
2 pizza slices, 1 mushroom pastry, 1 pizza pastry, coffee milk cig
Watermelon
Potato pastry ,chocolate pastry, coffee milk sugar cig
Rice tomato cucumber bean zucchini potato
Rice bean tomato zucchini
2 mango
Coffee soy milk cig
Chocolate cake and ball
Cig
food + fitness:
Coffee milk cig
Falafel
Pressure in my belly. Tiredness.
Watermelon
Coffee soy milk cig
Watermelon
Potato pastry chocolate pastry coffee soy milk cig
I must do something to change my bad habits
Watermelon
A bad start because of all the stress regarding finding an apartment
Bread chocolate coffee soy milk cig
Long ride
Pasta ketchup mustard
Mango
Coffee soy milk cig
17:30 falafel, lemonade, cig
although I knew at home I have a mango ,watermelon, quinoa
when I started smoking, thought of resistance came up, I tried to accept the now, and live it.
18:34 I'm tired after this.
I didn't work out today because of the stress of seeing apartments.
there's a yoga at 19:00. I'll go there and take things for power workout.
tomorrow I might have time in the morning. maybe on Friday morning as well...
I went to the gym, had 60 minutes power workout and then at home shake of mango and parsley
21:09 dried mango
Coffee soy milk cig
Thoughts of coffee cig and chocolate pastry
I was outside and chose a big chocolate pastry, coffee soy milk and cig.
B12
13:00 2 mangoes, 2 tomatoes, parsley
14:11 I'm a bit tired.
a thought of cig and coffee
I tried to sleep, didn't fall asleep
maybe I should meditate?
I still digest the 2 mangoes, parsley, tomato,
maybe it's the after effect of the morning coffee
speaking of coffee, maybe I'll do it
but
it leaves me in the loop
i feel pressure in my belly
I sense the extra fat in my chest, belly, arms, throat/ neck
I'm tired. - take a rest in bed.
-maybe it will be easier after a cig
- it's a bad habit, if you want to break it and get out of the loop, now it's time
- i should read more
it's strange that from a place of effortless, there's a want to turn to coffee and not to sleeping.
maybe I need water
i had coffee soy milk cig. then fell asleep.
then I did 1 hour meditation.
bike ride
19:30 falafel. One portion , no more. No pastry and other things later.
20:22 I'm sleepy, the sky is dark
in the lesson there was a chocolate cake and I brought plums juice
then they served green salad and pasta
and there were boxes of pastries
I had:
3 plates of pasta and green salad
3 cups of plums juice
1 chocolate cake
1 potato pastry
I rode home and had another cream chocolate pastry and orange juice and cig
my belly is full.
it connected also to a talk I had about my living place.
00:27 I'm going to sleep with full belly
free text 16+ minutes:
I can use the bike today, and ride to a meeting in TLV and then to another meeting and then home or use the less expensive bike and leave them there in TLV.
I bought a very thin locker for them, now I'm sorry I didn't pay more for thicker locker.
we'll see. it's either 2 rides or 3. it's an exercise.
I'm not sure I'll run today.
mm, in the second meeting there is food. hopefully I'll act like yesterday's meeting where I didn't eat until the end and only in the end chose some watermelon.
unlike last night, when the meeting will end and I'll become tired, I should stop the meetings and go home to sleep. that I'll won't be hungry because of the tiredness.
12:02 now I'm fasting till I'll really be hungry. the pastry, coffee and cig occupies the belly.
I might be tired for a noon nap in some point.
I'll try to avoid the noon cig.
I have a lot of things to do for my health until I leave the house to the first meeting. I should go out at 17:30.
there's a falafel next to the second meeting. well, if I'll eat I'll choose one pita and try to avoid a sweet pastry. I don't really have money. I spent 22 nis for the coffee+ pastry this morning. it's a lot.
where are the fruit as a first meal?
I have a watermelon, quinoa, mangoes, leaves?
and I listen to my belly.
I want to have 10 writing exercises
so, let's write the writing exercises I'll do today:
1. thanks
2. start every sentence with 'I want'
3. talking with G-d
4. how do I want my life to look like, write in the present
5. the secret
6. what is my menu, the eating way, and the exercise routine
7. what will the Roee I want to be do
8. why I haven't changed so far
9. what are my goals
10. what should I do to achieve them?
food+ fitness:
watermelon
60 minutes power workout
1 slice bread with chocolate, coffee, soy milk, cig
14:00 quinoa with oil, green bean pea, industrial hummus, tomato, cucumber,
16:00 noon nap
17:10 grapes
18:00 small chocolate pastry, cream pastry, potato pastry, coffee sugar milk, cig
A falafel place talked to me but it was closed
Watermelon in a meeting in the end of it
23:00 I was starting to be tired by appointed a meeting with a friend so became hungry because of the late hour
I ate spinach noodles with veggies
Sweet tea, pickles
Later sweet tea and cig
1:11 finally I'm in bed.
15 minutes free text:
I have this table of follow up of habits.
I think I need to eat more of my food. I really should try to avoid food outside.
I should cook more, I should eat more fruit meals,
I should make more salads.
maybe I should take with me, when I'm going out, a cooler with food.
I worked out today at the gym.
this time I ate some watermelon before
but I feel weak in the morning
on September I'll have 2 mornings that I can go to the gym ( Sunday and Friday)
and another day, I can go afternoon
this week I'll try to go on Tuesday to the yoga class at the gym.
maybe I'll return to yoga at home with YouTube. with "yoga for men" channel.
I should run. when can I run? maybe tomorrow morning.
(but specifically tomorrow morning I have a chore) so maybe, if I'll go to the gym on Tuesday morning, I can go for a run on Wednesday evening.
or, I can try to run at evening although evenings are usually occupied with social activities.
these days I'm worried. I admit. and this has impact on my all life aspects.
as a holistic health coach, I understand that trying to change lifestyle habits is something that should take into account all aspects of life.
anyway, this stress will pass.
I should read more, and listen more to other inspirational educational sources.
it helps, I think. it changes the mindset.
I should listen to my stomach, not eat when I'm not hungry and when I am hungry choose the food from my menu :fruit, salad, my cooked food.
I have the quinoa
I live with a roommate, I share the kitchen, I need to consider him or her if I want to operate the blender.
I share the refrigerator with him/ her.
I want to take out all my stuff from the refrigerator every day and see what to throw, what I can use, what to buy.
when can I run?
today I worked out.
tomorrow, I have things in the evening. and in the morning.
maybe I can run a 6/8 minutes in the morning before my chore in the morning.
what will I eat today?
quino
mango with leaves if they're alive
watermelon
grapes.
orange juice.
food + fitness:
ice coffee, cig
watermelon
15:50. this is a junction. a thought of smoking my middle day cig/ a 2nd cig.
maybe I need to eat. but the watermelon is still pressing my belly.
I have leaves at the refrigerator. they might be dead already.
there are 2 slices of bread. there's frozen bread in the freezer.
I need to go in less than 1 hour to a yoga meeting.
it's a free day and I studied only 1 hour.
I should measure the time I devote daily to my try to change.
I gave up and did:
2 bread hummus tomato cucumber
1 bread chocolate
coffee soy milk cig.
17:20 yoga
19:30
Watermelon grapes melon
Pastry with olives, pastry with beans, yogurt,
Cake with egg, cake
orange juice, cig
free text:
I started the day with drugs. ice coffee. I have watermelon in the refrigerator, I have mangoes, grapes,
some vegetables and leaves. I should check everyday what I have. watch and check all my fresh produce.
things to throw, things to remember that they are exist. not to put them in the refrigerator and forget about them.
in the past week I had 3 power workouts.
today I'm going to a yoga lesson (half hour).
tomorrow I plan to go to the gym in the morning.
what about running?
I'm going to the gym in the mornings but I'm weak then.
so to run first thing in the morning sounds difficult too.
On Tuesdays there's yoga in the gym.
what's wrong? why there's no progress?
I'm stuck with the drugs: cigarettes, coffee, wheat.
maybe I need small challenges. for example, today till 17:00, I eat only grapes, mangoes, watermelon, quinoa, vegetables and leaves.
maybe I should have more free text time here in this blog daily. not just to post what I ate.
time is passing anyway. I should have a frame.
maybe I should have an excel file, a table with habits to follow.
let's do it.
where?
oh! I can do it here!
22-28.8.21
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Saturday |
Friday |
Thursday |
Wednesday |
Tuesday |
Monday |
Sunday |
plan/reality |
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3 power workout in the gym 60 minutes |
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runs - mon,wed,fri - 6,8,10 minutes |
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yoga - tuesday in the gym and once on mon/wed/fri |
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cut a salad with leaves Sun-Sat |
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3 fruit meals every day |
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my cooked food everyday |
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20 minutes blog everyday |
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30 min raw bundle |
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30 min raw food explained |
food + fitness:
2 rice cakes chocolate coffee sugar cig
13:00 watermelon
15:20 watermelon
קפה חל"ס סיג
2 לחם חומוס ירקות
בורקס גבינה בורקס פיצה
מאפה שוקולד מאפה שקדים
ארוחה: סלט עלים , סלט כרוב, סלט סלק
אורז, קינואה, לחם חומוס מיץ ענבים
מיץ תפוזים, 2 בקלוואה, 2 עוגת פרג, מאפה שוקולד
מים סיג
food + fitness:
60 min power workout
11:30 half bun with chocolate
Coffee sugar cig
I feel drained.
grapes
grapes
potato pastry ( small burekas)
baguette , avocado, tomato salad, cabbage, vegetables, beet, hummus, tahini, red pepper salad
fries, ketchup, pickle
small chocolate pastry
coffee soy milk, cig
19:00 grapes
21:00 half brownies, coffee soy milk, cig, quarter of personal pizza
00:30 orange juice cig
Coffee soy milk cig chocolate pastry
Watermelon bite
Quinoa buckwheat pea vegetables: carrot onion potato
Chili, ketchup, mustard
Half bun with chocolate, coffee soy milk, cig
1.5 Falafel
Orange juice cig
Rest
22:12 I read about the importance of going to sleep early
So I think it's time for me
I'm used to cig before
Can I just go to sleep?
Can I just go outside to breathe the outside a little and then go to sleep?
Can I ignore the thought or habit that pull me now to smoke?
The reality is that I'm tired
so I need to sleep not to smoke
What?
A thought - do it (smoke) and cut the time of this chat
Orange juice cig
22:36 good night
23:07 can’t sleep
I think it’s the cig that stimulated me
So, now: walk or study
I can meditate too
Decision: learn a little
60 minutes power workout
12:50 coffee soy milk cig
Reminder: write before eating, before, during and after cigs
I feel disabled after the cig
14:50 grapes
Meal: 3 buns, hummus, matbucha salad, cabbage, beet, vegetables salad, root vegetables, pickle, eggplant,
Potato, rice, olives,
21:50 grapes
22:20 grapes
22:47the belly is bloated
I’m
Very tired but on my way home, I’m on the train
23:00 grapes
00:00 chocolate pastry coffee soy milk cig
00:14 fast
I feel anger , cause I thought that something will happen tonight and it didn’t.
The next thoughts are doing something to deal with the disappointment. Like doing something else. Something that I actually don’t want to do.
So, I’ll try to stay with the anger, disappointment, and feel them.
Reminder: write before I eat+ before, during and after cigarettes
Chocolate pastry, coffee soy milk, cig
Watermelon
Falafel in lafa ( big pita)
Lemonade with pomegranate juice
Grapes
Coffee soy milk cig
I feel tired, heavy, headache, weak, heartbeat, no power for nothing, want to go to bed
I'll have another note for what I feel during and after cigs
I had adrenaline before and now I'm exhausted
Another idea, to make a column in my daily paper for negative suggestions
For seeing more clearly that they are negative.
Haven't written before, I'm writing afterwards:
Watermelon
23:23 the body is tired. the mind doesn't want to go to sleep.
but the facial muscles are tired, the breathes become heavy,
I (the mind) should say thanks to G-d about being given this day. and say good bye.
hopefully I'll have another day tomorrow on Earth and I can do wonderful fun things in addition to contribute to humanity and the planet and the animals.
ok
so, now there's a bad suggestion: a cigarette
ok, I'll drink lemon juice with mint and sugar cig.
and then I'll go to sleep.
why? can't you go to sleep just like that?
I'm not used to it
- you know that this chat will end in a cig, right?
- I'm tired, the body is tired. can't even smile.
- maybe I need water and then I'll be awake?
(drank) I don't think so.
can I give up the cig and just go into sleep?
do you remember what you feel during and after a cig?
tiredness ( I'm tired already), heavy ( already)
good night.
23:30 lemon juice mint sugar cig
Headache
00:10 good night..
food + fitness:
run 6 minutes
60 minutes power workout
11:45
Watermelon
Coffee soy milk cig
14:40 watermelon
16:40 quinoa, carrot, pea, onion, potato, cumin, paprika, olive oil, parsley, cilantro, lemon juice, ketchup, mastsurd.
rice cake, chocolate, coffee soy milk, cig
I finally arrived hungry to an event, a lesson with food. Tomorrow there’s another one.
At the beginning I said I won’t eat
And there was water melon which I didn’t touch
I brought granola snacks, ate 2
Ate falafel balls
1.5 eggs
Vine leaves with rice
The thoughts about food disturbed me concentrate at the lesson about self development and fixation
While my fixation is get over the passion to eat cause' I want to be healthy and look fit.
The thought was: I decide not to fight it. I give up definitely. And I believed it and identified with it.
Cig water with lemon mint
food + fitness:
Coffee soy milk cig
Special mushroom with lemon juice
Grapes
Watermelon
Vegetables, 3 potato pastries, 2 pizza pastries, 1 chocolate pastry, coffee soy milk cig,
Watermelon
I know that it’s right to fast
But I want to eat
And cig
I have a headache
Quinoa mustard ketchup
Herbal tea sugar soy milk cig
00:36 goon night
I plan to write my goals for each day.
food + fitness:
Power workout
Watermelon
Coffee soy milk cig
at 15:00 I ate quinoa (with carrot and onion), cucumber, tomato, red pepper, tahini, lemon, mint leaves, flax seeds, walnuts
18:00 2 pita hummus cucumber tomato red pepper
2 rice cakes with chocolate
Coffee soy milk cig
Vegan pizza , mushroom salad with cheese
00:31 my body is tired
My belly is full
Yes I’m tired and need to go to sleep
But
I’m going to meet someone
I guess it’s not best for my health and self love
But for my mind
Lemon juice mint sugar cig
food + fitness:
22:34 was the beginning of the fast
It’s now 10:54 12:20 hours of fast
Thinking of pita chocolate coffee soy milk and cig and then a long day of biking
I had a pita chocolate coffee soy milk and cig
Lots of riding
I ate 3 bananas
2 pita , lemonade, hummus, salad, 5 falafel balls
At home coffee soy milk cig
20:10 watermelon
I ate coke, cig, 2 slices vegan pizza
2 granola snacks, chocolate, 2 small vegan cheese pastries,
2 potato pastries
And now I'm writing before: coffee soy cig
That was a white night, went with friends to see meteors
free text:
writing before and while eating, bring light, bring present, maybe cure, heal.
I should keep doing that.
before inserting something to my mouth, I should write about it,
am I hungry?
what do I need?
what is the right thing for my body now? for my health?
I still have quinoa, more dates lettuce shake, (pita, hummus)
watermelon
tomorrow (Thursday) I'm going to be outside in Hatikva neighborhood and Bat Yam. I should always fuel my body with healthy food.
I always need energy. until the end of the day.
I should keep that in mind.
I should keep some thoughts in my mind.
I call it consciousness coaching or maybe mind or awareness coaching (after the reading I've done previously) is more accurate.
mind coaching
what thoughts do I want to think more?
"how do I want to look?", "how do I want my body to look like?" + vision
"I need my energy till the end of the day"
food + fitness:
7:57 my belly is full. I start with water fast.
10:32 finished a hard power workout
Still fasting
11:00 I drank a little of my shake of dates and lettuce
I ate a vegan chocolate pastry medium
I’m about to smoke with a coffee soy milk 12:09
After the cig I experience lower energy. the face muscles are tired, I look older.
16:00 I drank from
The dates lettuce shake
I’m reminding myself to write before inserting something to my mouth
I have quinoa, pita, hummus, watermelon
I ate falafel
Now I'm before cig and coffee soy milk
I'm. ired
Slept not enough at noon
22:10 I’m before.
It’s 22:10
My belly is not loose nor empty
Thinking of eating
But I know it’s late..
Maybe I’m bored , maybe I need to move!
I had watermelon
Then pita hummus vegetables
Then shake cig
22:34 night fast
food:
8:40 cream pastry ,chocolate pastry, coffee sugar milk ,cig
12:50 watermelon. I was hungry and am until getting full
14:00 fries ketchup rice 'green beans' 2 salads one with extra sauce' almost 1 pita, hummus tahini
Potato burekas, chocolate pastry, coffee milk sugar cig
Some watermelon
I should really write anyway before eating
That could be the turning key
23:29 I'm writing before eating
I have pita hummus vegetables
I want it because it's tasty
It's late at night
Not the best timing
I use light after my flat-mate turned it off
It's not the right time
Industrial hummus and pita which is pastry
Are not healthy
Any way
Yes? No? After that I'll smoke, no?
So maybe just the cig? Damn the light
Well he can close his door
Yes/no?
I'll smoke only
I made tea, green or herbal, no sugar, ice
For the cig
Considering to add sugar
I'll try not to
Another thought of adding sugar and again 'no'
I'm now before lighting the cig
The tea is not tasty
And the cig has smoke
It's stinking ,the smoking
weight: 95.9
destination weight: 74
I want to lose 21.9 kg of fat.
desired body picture:
Free text, self health coaching:
13:00 I’m after coffee and cig
Still breathing heavily or fast, still alert, smell bad
I’m listening more to my belly
I have an alarm every hour as a reminder to observe my belly sensation
I want it to be loose and free all the time.
I was thinking about splitting the power workout at the gym to 2 muscles groups and go to the gym around 6 times a week.
I want to return to running
I should start with 5 minutes run or less.
I’m going to my brother, my parents will being cooked food, vegan. This time , I plan to eat when I’m hungry and stop when it’s enough to my belly, of course to eat slowly.
Today it will be hard to workout, because I’m not home and didn’t bring shoes. I can always find a way , like barefoot run on the beach, but I’ll skip, I have plans for tonight. I might carry a bag. It’s not comfortable. I’ll see.. hopefully tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow morning.
On Wednesday I’ll be home again and go to the gym in the morning.
My diet is : fruit fruit fruit leaves salad and my cooked food.
I know it’s not ideal but maybe I should use shakes as a temporal helper.
I weighed myself today and I should keep doing that daily .
I’m looking for an apartment. With flatmates if I’ll feel sure that I’ll have my space or alone which mean to pay more.
21 kilograms of extra fat. How did I do it? 15 years of trying to control eating, searching but also being busy with life and survival obligations like work and paying bills.
I believe that if I chose to put everything on my call to work as a health coach , let’s call it like that, I would make living .not less than now. But since I’m not financially free , and don’t have a back, I chose a stable occupation as a teacher. Low salary, there’s always work, everywhere, and I’m supposed to have time everyday for other things , for sure I have lots of off days. But the toll was 3-5 years of studies, lots of years of training and lots of energy expansion during work that leave me less available to another work.
I don't want to leave it. I still want to juggle between the two for the next year's. ( and to work in high schools).
I have a daily paper.now it divided to 3 columns.
Good suggestions, good things I did and bad. For me the bad things I do are the junk food. And the good things are the good foods and all the other activities. This, the good things I did column is much reacher than the bad things I did. Hopefully my intention is to see that I’m not far from making the written text in the bad things I did column smaller and smaller.
21 kilograms of extra fat.
I want a flat belly.
I want to quit smoking.
I want to quit coffee.
I want to quit pastry/bread/ etc.
I want to be vegan.
I want to be high raw, to eat Whole plants Foods.
To be consistent about exercising, running, doing yoga, workout at the gym or at the devices outside.
I want to be a role model and to help others to reach health goals and to spread the health message to the masses.
food:
9:00 3/4 pita, chocolate, coffee soy milk cig
11:24 the belly is still not loose
11:50 leftover of salad of mango lettuce tomato I blended it and drank
12:10 train station coffee soy milk cig
12:39 the belly is not loose
13:30 I start to be hungry, I’m thirsty, there’s still digesting in my belly
Cucumber tomato potato rice in pepper beans zucchini ,pie with eggs ,small sweet pastry
Cucumber tomato potato rice in pepper beans zucchini
Potato burekas, cream pastry, chocolate pastry, coffee milk sugar cig
Watermelon
1 hour power work out at the gym
Small Vegan Pastry coffee soy milk cig
13:15 mango, lettuce, tomato salad
I stopped a little after felt full, I didn't finish
14:00 coffee soy milk cig
Bike ride
I bought grapes
16:45 grapes
19:10 4 vegan pizza slices fresh orange juice
Social meeting, I brought grapes
I ate watermelon
But then failed /fell : 2 pizza slices
1 cookie
Water
Home: zip of water of soaked dates
Coke cog
Watermelon,
Small potato pastry, small cheese pastry cucumber tomato
Quarter pita chocolate
Coffee soy milk cig
14:50 watermelon
15:40 watermelon
Bicycle
Hummus pita salad fries ketchup 2 falafel balls
Bicycle
Coke cig
Coke cig
Sandwich cheese coffee soy milk cig 1
13:00 pita hummus carrot salad, green beans
I bought fruit and vegetables
25 minutes power workout at the gym
17:30 water melon
I cooked quinoa
19:00 quinoa carrot onion, vegan: mustard, ketchup, mayonnaise
21:50 pita hummus cucumber lettuce tomato
2 small chocolate pastries
Coffee soy milk cig 2
22:30 I sense the dough in my belly
Watermelon
Coffee soy milk cig 3
food:
Cheese sandwich, small cream pastry, fresh juice, small doughnut, coffee soy cig
Pita fries tsaziki
Smoothie cig
Vegan cream pastry, coffee milk
B12
Melon
19:23 the belly is digesting.
21:30 spinach cheese pastry , potato pastry, juice
2:06 still heartburn
2:45 green tea sugar cig
food
Sandwich with cheese, orange juice, small doughnut, small chocolate pastry, coffee soy milk cig
14:30 melon
16:00 I ordered rice vegetables stuffed pepper and green salad
Water
Vegan restaurant: beet salad, bread, potato v cheese v mayonnaise
Orange juice cig
free text:
I have 2 more days in abroad. today and tomorrow.
didn't succeed in quitting smoking, being vegan, eating mostly raw, losing body fat.
I'm taking these two days easily as possible.
this is the best way.
I have a melon here. it's in the refrigerator.
I looked for a desired body picture for a long time. I wanted to put one of the athletes in the Olympic games and didn't find. and then tried to use picture from Instagram of vegans and didn't succeeded.
so, I have 3 minutes to write.
I need a directing questions because otherwise I'm tired.
I guess I'll arrive home, and look for another apartment, and try to go to the gym. I feel heavy to run.
but I can try.
question:
what is the problem? why do you keep smoking and making unhealthy choices?
answer: it's easy. I enjoy it. there are more reasons.
desired body pic:
food +fitness:
Half tomato, cucumber
2 small cheese pastries coffee almond milk cig
Slice of pizza, some cola, cig
Apple
Apple
Walk
Watermelon
Walk
Fries , barbecue sauce, bun vegan burger
Walk
Orange juice cig
Walk
food + fitness:
10:30 chocolate croissant coffee milk cig
Shared apple
Tsaziki, vegetables leaves balls, potato, filled tomato and two peppers with rice, lettuce, tomato, olives,
I’ve reached fullness point and I continue to eat because it’s expensive
Orange juice cig
Ride, kayak
Apple
Water
Walk
Bun cheese cucumber tomato oj
Coffee milk sugar cig
orange juice cig
food pictures:
10:14 small chocolate pastry, coffee milk sugar, cig
Salad with olive oil salt pepper cheese , some wine
Big cream pastry coffee almond milk cig 2
Water Apple apple
Pita with feta tsaziki vegetables
Fries mustard ketchup
Cola cig 3
food + fitness:
10:15 small cream pastry and small chocolate pastry coffee sugar milk cig 1.
14:15 watermelon
A walk
I’m hungry
I bought peas rice and vegetables and later I added those wheat flakes and a voice telling me I’m still want a pizza slice so I’m telling this voice wait maybe you will be satisfied and another voice starting to raise his head and tell me later we will have a cigarette and I don’t know, Coke? so we’ll see about it I’m going to eat now and about the wheat flakes , I guess I should’ve take more of the other things: more rise and more peace
14:51 finished all at home
It was oily
Had a sense of getting full before finishing but still continued eating
Now what?
Observing the belly sensations?
Breathing? Waiting 10 minutes before anything else? Gilad hour before drinking? Or smoking? Be the guard at the gate also the mouth gate. Wow some insights.
Journaling
It’s relevant to here
I have 4 more books I want to read today
And to swim and snorkel later
A voice: so smoke now? Before the books?
A pressure sensation in my belly
My belly is full
What now? A rest? Music? TV? Olympic Games? YouTube? Audio? Podcast?
Why cig? I’ll b tired afterward and need a nap
Maybe I need a nap now
So take a nap now!
Just kick the though away, that’s it
Don’t think about it
But I want it
This is just a thought
One cig, there is a progress, didn’t have a pizza, ate vegan
It’s good to not have ready made cigarette, another barrier
What ? Cig? I don’t have power to smoke now
So don’t
Think of other things: go to bed and rest
Listen to beautiful music
Face the emotions
Face after-food sensations
Breathe
That’s an achievement , to write all this, you deserve a cig price
I’m tired
The food was oily
And included wheat
I want a cig before sleeping
It’s a thought roee you don’t have to fulfill it
It’s just a thought
Be the guard at the gates
The gate of your mind , the gate of your mouth
Think about the stain in your used-to-be-pink lips
I’m not gonna win this
It’s a thought!
Post this in a quitting smoking group
You’re wasting your time with thinking
Take a rest, decide, make a decision that maybe later, or later, but not now, now the body is full with food.
It’s an endless argument,
I’ll stop the writing of thoughts and just do it
These are just thoughts, take a rest
I’m going to sleep for sure after a cig so why not to sleep right now?
-starting to roll a thin cig-
I’m already tired before smoking, it’s the food that triggers this
-lighting
Soon you’ll finish it
And go to sleep
Yes the food is to blame
It’s not so bad
It is
Washed my hands and brushed my teeth
My belly is bloated
I’m in bed after the cig and diluted juice
Slept
I took a walk, I swam, I talked to someone
I’m not so hungry but thinking of food, pizza, maybe pita fries, crepe with chocolate, coke maybe, cig
But maybe I can eat salad, drink water, fast, eat fruit instead. 20:55
Pizza slice, pita tsaziki fries vegetables feta, crepe chocolate ice cream,
Some juice cig
I learned from a book , actually got a reminder of the idea that we r the average of the 5 people who are close to us
So I was thinking to choose 5 people to follow their posts.
And if mentioned again the Facebook groups as a tool.
Mira buchnick
Tal sharabi
Freelee the banana girl
Vegetable police
Raw food rising
Eden Paz
It’s 23:12 I read 5 books out of planned 6
But there are others tools to use
My belly is full
1:23 juice cig 4
Because I’m free to do whatever I want
-oh Roy you’re free
This what I want? It’s just a thought , a bad suggestion
You could write instead, and talk to g-d
Or read one of your 5 people you chose post
Any way
Go to sleep
body pic:
food pics:
free text:
yesterday I asked a friend how he is. he replied that he's in the same situation for 5 years.
I was thinking about my health issue, my addiction to food and trying to lose body fat issue and calculated it's a 15 years issue within I'm stuck at the same I guess thinking patterns. and still didn't get out of the loop and even made the situation worse by adding smoking and gaining around I would say 20 kilos.
only today, I started the day ( not immediately, because I meditated and rested and drank water...) with pastries, coffee and cig, non vegan.
so, how do I get out of the loop for good?
I understand the that I'm not my thoughts, I'm not the voices who suggest me to eat when I'm not hungry, to eat junk food and to smoke.
but I still listen to those.
I meditate but my meditations are in a low level. I must read the book that guide to how to meditate.
I have 6 days abroad, alone. there is some stress. to get to the bus stop tomorrow, to see the bus coming indeed, to have the covid test and get a negative result, to get to the airport etc.....
but, I'm still alone. the voices are just the voices in my head. I'm not traveling these days with other people and their voices.
so, how can I produce healthy voices and listen to them?
by reading
maybe by writing like at this moment
next week I'm going to sleep 2 night in a hostel and share a room.
in the last time, on Wednesday, a woman who I shared a room with told me I'm snoring like a bear, and she hear my snores through her ear plugs, and that it's vibrating all the room.
it's a gift. it's a reminder. a big red flag. it says my health is bad. It's deteriorating. I must change my habits.
I need to work.
tomorrow I'm in a new place and there there are tow beaches I ant to see. other then that, being abroad is the settings, the scenery. I should concentrate in work. work on myself.
from time to time I'll do a break and see the view, it's also a tool. be in nature, move.
but my focus should be on letting my body to heal. listen to my body's needs not to my mind's suggestions.
so, this is why I have this daily paper, where I have 2 columns: to do and what I did. and my strategy is to stick to this paper and fill it.
I'll read, I'll have a break of walking, I'll watch inspiring video, I'll go to swim and snorkel, I'll write and listen to podcast, I'll take a nap. when I'm hungry, I have a desired diet of fruit fruit fruit and salad.
I need a temporal isolated time. I have 6 days abroad alone.
when I'm back I'll also have a lot of time till the beginning of my work time. a time to find a new apartment, to help my family but also a lot of time for healing.
I think I need to write more.
in the last minutes I have, I want to go through the list of the writing exercises I have and maybe I can add questions.
it's a short list. I had once a long one.
ok, it will be a writing exercise for 10 minutes to think of directing questions for writing tools.
14:00 things I've read in the power of subconscious mind today:
the conscious part is the guard in the gate. its job is to protect the subconscious mind of accepting every suggestion. it's important to keep the conscious part awake and alert, otherwise the subconscious mind listen to destructive thoughts.
so, now, I have suggestions of pizza. I have watermelon in the refrigerator but I feel stronger attraction to pizza, cola and cig I guess.
what do I suppose to do? if I think of eating a watermelon now, I don't feel like doing it. I have a sense of the breakfast I have, still in my gut, the dough. and I want more dough. it's addictive. the gluten, the wheat.
desired body pic:
goals:
to get thinner,
to lose body weight
to exercise, run, have power workouts, do yoga
eat high raw vegan food, clean diet
eat when I'm hungry
I realize that my ways of achieving my goals became my goals since I find them hard to do.
ways to achieve my goals:
ways to achieve the ways to achieve my goals...
read, learn, read spiritual books and health books, use all the tools in my list.
desired diet:
fruit, fruit, fruit, green leaves salad
clean ( not fried, no salt, not processed nor industrial) vegan cooked food: vegetables, legumes, cereals
water
shakes, juices, nice cream etc.
